Archive | April, 2012

Dear child haters of the Westside,

30 Apr

If you hate children, stay indoors. Kids are everywhere: the mall, the market, and even (gasp) restaurants. If you find the high pitch scream of a 2 year old too painful to bear then don’t go to the mall. More specifically, do not go to the Westfield Century City shopping mall. I spend a lot of time there with my kids and you will definitely hear them before you see them. I’m not saying that my kids and I rule the world and everyone else has to deal with it. I’m just saying that if you are particularly offended by anyone under the age of 12 then maybe you should rethink your daily outings. You won’t find me lining up the high chairs at a fancy shmancy restaurant. You won’t see my little ones in a movie theater until they are old enough to sit still for 90+ minutes. You won’t find us at a college library, singles bar, adults only resort, trendy club, cooking seminar, yoga class, or pretty much anywhere in public past 6pm. However, Coffee Bean, the park, the supermarket, and the mall are fair game. If you have a problem with me or my children, then start shopping on Amazon and brew your own coffee at home.

Remember, you too were a child once and no matter what your mother says I promise you weren’t always well behaved.


What do you think?

Must have been my lucky bracelet

28 Apr

My baby girl is in surgery. I guess it’s a weird time to blog but I’m not sure what else to do. I feel like I’m covered on the G-D side of things. He knows what’s up down here. I feel truly confident that she’s going to be fine and even better than fine after this minor surgery. Her ear infections have been reoccurring and relentless, this will give her the relief the antibiotics haven’t.

I can’t help but think of the others. The other children, the other parents and siblings that go through major surgeries on a regular basis. Cancer. Birth Defects. Syndromes. All of it, unimaginable to have my child, my baby go through any of it. Maybe it was the lucky bracelet I wore while I was pregnant with her and her twin brother. Maybe it’s genes, karma, just the sheer grace of a higher power out there. I am chock full of sarcasm and humor pretty much 99% of the time. It’s tough being a stay at home Mom to three little kids, including twins. But today my job feels like a cake walk in comparison to the Mamas who have really sick babies.

I’m not going to lose my sense of humor about raising children, I’m also not going to lose my perspective.

I made a little donation to a charity that “gets it.” You can too: Ronald McDonald House Charities


Have you ever had one of these moments?

You’re sliding solo ’cause Mommy’s a no-go

26 Apr

Because taking 3 kids to the park alone isn’t scary enough…

This New York Times article came out a few days ago about the horrific hidden dangers of slides at playgrounds. Apparently the worst thing you can do is go down a slide with your kids. So, diving towards them as they run in front of moving swings and begging them to back away from 10 foot drops atop the climbing structure aren’t my only concerns. Now I also have to worry about the damn slides. No big deal. Just if you go down the slide with your toddler on your lap you have a good chance of breaking their legs. Awesome.

You are given a choice: pray that they make it down to the bottom of the slide in one piece or go down with them and hope you don’t fracture some mini bones. I don’t even have time to worry about them eating fishy crackers out of the sand or digging through other people’s diaper bags! Now we’re talking bodily harm. Did I mention that sometimes we go to the park twice a day?

If you happen to see three small children on leashes, bound in bubble wrap with helmets on, those would be mine.

Better safe than sorry


Is the park a scary place for you too?

What do you mean we don’t get the pink stuff?!

25 Apr

After handing him the fifth unacceptable sippy cup of the morning, I decided that something must be physically wrong with my 2 year old son JH. The tantrums and endless grunting demands have become painful for me. I’m assuming they have become equally daunting for my neighbors and fellow park-goers. Something must really be bothering him to cause him to act like the exorcist. I decided it must be the ears. The twins are prone to ear infections, so even though he showed no signs of ear pulling or a snotty nose, he MUST have an ear infection. A super bad double one. We showed up at our appointment and we weren’t seeing our usual doctor, we had another doctor in the practice who is the mother of toddler twins. The second she walked into the room it was as if total clarity overcame me. I knew what was about to happen.

“So, the nurse told me he has no physical symptoms, is that right?” I nodded. “You brought him in for tantrums and refusing to sleep, is that right?” I nodded. I decided to just lay it all out there: “I need you to find something physically wrong with him that is treatable with medication. I cannot take another year of this.” We smiled at each other as only mothers of 2 year olds do. She checked the first ear… All clear. I assured her that it would be the next ear that was horribly infected… All clear. Check his teeth, it might be his molars, YES, check his teeth. Nothing. She felt his tummy, listened to his lungs and checked all his extremities. “What you have here is a perfectly healthy 2 year old.” She smirked. “Check him again.” I begged.

It’s official, we have entered the Terrible Twos! I even have a Doctor’s bill to prove it. In the elevator on the way down he threw himself on the ground because I wouldn’t let him hit the alarm button. I explained to everyone in the elevator that we had just come from the Doctor’s office, terrible ear infection.


Let me know I’m not alone!

Legally blind with a cherry on top

24 Apr

Every night I take out my contact lenses and put on my glasses before bed. No big deal right? Well, for me this is a huge step that has taken years to take. I am legally blind and have been wearing contacts since I was 12 years old. Most people don’t even realize I need glasses because they have never seen me wear a pair. Until recently, my husband had only seen me wear my glasses a handful of times.

Yesterday, as I lay asleep, my sweet, thoughtful, doll of a husband moved my glasses from my bedside table to an undisclosed location. He wanted to make sure one of the kids didn’t destroy them when they came running in to say good morning to me. They tend to mangle any pair of glasses they can get their little hands on. All of a sudden all 3 children were delivered to my room and sweet, sweet, oh-so-sweet husband had to take an urgent phone call. No big deal, all the kids running around like lunatics in my room full of laptops, wires, cups with liquids, open toilet… no big deal. I immediately reach over for my glasses, and nothing! My worst nightmare coming true: alone with all the kids in a non baby-proofed room and I can’t see a thing. Take that back, I could see little blurs racing around the room and heading in all different directions. What happened next I’m only going to tell you because you’re my friends. I called HB over and got nose to nose with her, and said, “This is very important, Mommy is blind, we MUST find my glasses. If you find them I will give you ice cream for breakfast.” Within 3 minutes I had my glasses on my face and HB wondering if she got a topping on her ice cream.

The temporary blindness only lasted about five minutes but it felt like an hour. When Mr. Busy returned from his call, I reminded him that he had moved my glasses and then left me with all the kids in the one room that’s not toddler safe. His response: “Oh, shit. That must have been hilarious!”

Tonight, I am sleeping with my contacts in.


Ever bribe your kids in order to survive an emergency?

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