Tiffany Blue and Poop

30 May

Every morning I am awoken by the desperate screams of my offspring. You would think that they were sleeping in beds with rattle snakes and just realized it. The thing is that no matter how many years it goes on you just never get use to it. If you think an alarm clock is jolting, you should hear my twins scream at 6am and my 5 year old list all her ailments.
The good news is that every once in awhile the kiddies like to mix it up a bit. The screaming wasn’t too intense this glorious morning. Yet of course there was a catch. The catch? Poop. Smeared all over TR’s naked body, her crib sheets, crib, the wall, everything. You name it, she had slimed it. Her diaper had been flung across the room and I will spare the details on the smell of the place. Why did I bother finding the perfect Tiffany blue paint for the nursery walls to only have them covered in crap, literally? Her twin brother stood in his crib laughing and jumping up and down like he was watching the best show ever. It was like a reenactment from a Nat Geo documentary I saw once.
On the up side they say this is a sign of potty training readiness. That’s exactly what I wanted to do right now, potty train the twins. It might be a Xanax kind of day.


Some readers have asked me when and where I blog from. Today I am writing from the Coffee Bean parking lot at Palms and Sepulveda with the twins in their carseats drinking chocolate milks. Living the glamorous life.

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