Archive | June, 2012

Headline: Mom Loses Mind – Then Eats Ice Cream

21 Jun

HOUSTON — A Texas mom faces child endangerment charges after police say she was found naked and eating ice cream inside a drug store after leaving her three children alone in a wrecked car.

According to the report from KPRC-TV in Houston, 34-year-old Stephanie Dillard faces one count of child endangerment after police say her car collided with a Houston bus on Friday afternoon.

I totally understand what must have happened to this Woman. I even want to give her the benefit of the doubt. She was driving in the car with her three children, maybe even twin 2 year olds and a five year old. Everything was going fine until one of the twins dropped their snack trap full of fishy crackers on the floor of the car. The child goes ballistic, “Crackers, crackers, crackers, crackers! I need my crackers! Upset by all this commotion, the second child starts wailing and screaming at the top of their lungs, that they can’t handle all this screaming. Finally, the third child decides to start bawling and throws their entire plastic snack trap at the Mother’s head. Did I mention that she was already late to take the oldest child to school, and they are stuck in traffic? She had been with all three kids since 6am which was three hours prior. She had already been pooped on, puked on, and called a horrible Mother all before they even entered the car that day.

She snapped. She sideswiped the city bus, ripped off her gym clothes and ran butt naked towards the Haagen Dazs around the corner. I relate to Stephanie Dillard way more than anyone needs to know. I might actually feel like doing the same thing at any moment on any given day. Not so much the naked part, because I think I look much better with clothes on. The running from the car screaming and getting ice cream? I totally get it.


Park Etiquette

19 Jun

Yes, there are rules.

1. Sand toys are for sharing. If you have a problem with that then don’t bring your toys to the park. When it’s time for you to leave and collect your toys, be nice about it. It’s a shovel and Pail not a Ruby and Diamond.
2. There is an unspoken time limit on the swings. When my kid starts flipping out after your kid has been on longer than 10 minutes, it’s time to pull your kid out. Remember, sharing is caring.
3. If a physical altercation takes place, proceed with the following steps:
a. If the kids are under 18 months old just ignore it if it’s a little push. They are barely out of the womb, cut them some slack.
b. if the kids are over 4 years old and about the same age, give them a minute to work it out themselves. You won’t always be there to protect your child so give them a chance to do it themselves.
4. Don’t discipline someone else’s kid. Unless you know the mother well enough to tell her that her kid has issues. Otherwise let the parent do the teaching.
5. If a child looks lost, don’t just stand there, help the poor soul out.
6. All food being eaten in plain sight of the other kids has to be shared. Unless it’s Red Cheetos, don’t give my kids that crap.
7. Automatically assume that any person with a Baby Bjorn strapped to their chest needs your help. I wore one of those things for a year and bending over to do or get anything is impossible.
8. Smile. We are all in the same boat. That boat is at the park, in the hot sun, chasing tiny lunatics through dirty sand.


What would you add to the list?


It Must Be In The Jeans

17 Jun

Some people find baking or painting therapeutic, others do yoga or tai chi. I’m into hardcore retail therapy. At least once a week I go all by myself and disappear into the racks and shop as if my life depended on it. Compared to the big life decisions, deciding if I
want shoes in black or leopard print is a welcome choice. Nobody needs anything from me, there are no little children screaming at me or throwing chocolate milk at me. it’s just me doing something for me that feels good to ME.

I know it’s a cliche – the shopping Beverly Hills housewife. I’m fine with that.

I definitely have a philosophy when it comes to what I wear. I might get blasted for saying this, but it wouldn’t be the first time that happened: There is no reason to dress like a homeless person when in fact you are actually a stay at home Mom.
It’s just as easy to put on a cute top and jeans as it is to put on sweats and an oversized T-shirt. Chances are you won’t find me out wearing my husband’s XL College Jerseys and old flip flops. I read a lot of magazines and I look around at what other Women are wearing. I don’t usually buy an item unless it will be worn more than once and it has to feel like “me.” My friend Laura is always asking me What I’ve bought lately, so Laura, this post is for you.

Here are the last four things that followed me home:

J. Crew Anchor Shirt – What do I do with it? Wear it with light wash wide leg Hudson jeans and cork wedges.

Parker Jumpsuit- What do I do with it? Wear with sky high beige Loubotins for night or neon sandals for day. Add a bra and some jewelry and your good to go.

Studded Pumps – What do I do with them? I just got these yesterday, so I haven’t done anything yet. But, I plan on having lots of fun in these shoes.

Splendid Cotton TeeWhat do I do with it? I do everything with this shirt. Put it with black leggings and boots or under a blazer for Dinner. It’s fitted but not too fitted, the perfect shirt.

If you think I’m wrong about the sweats go ahead and tell me, I can handle it. All comments are welcome.

Happy Daddy Day to all My Daddy Readers – I know I have at least a few of you :)

17 Jun

For the Dads who manage to do it all, they really are Super Men, Happy Father’s Day!



Love This One….


Multiple Personality Disorder – Of The Mother Kind

15 Jun

I might possibly have multiple personalities.

Not in a hearing voices, the devil made me do it kind of way. It’s more like a good versus bad or young versus old, wild versus tame type of thing. The other night I wore a short short dress and high high heels. Probably the shortest shiniest dress I’ve been in since my mid-twenties. I went out, had a few drinks and I felt young, sparkly and free. I wanted to stay out all night and go dancing. I probably would have hopped a flight to Vegas if a plane had been waiting for me.

Yet, exactly 12 hours later, I’m in the kitchen wearing head to toe Lululemon workout gear, making Lunch for my three children. How do these two women co-exist within me? Which one am I really? I don’t want to go out partying with my daughters and end up on the Dr. Phil show. I have no intentions of hiding a flask at AYSO soccer practices. I do want to get all hussied up and go dancing with my friends every once in awhile. I also want to be a good example to my children and live my life to it’s fullest at the same time.  Trying to reconcile the person I was before marriage and children with the Woman I am today is a tricky prospect. I don’t want to exist just for my husband and kids, but I also don’t want to forget what my main job is right now. I guess the only way to find the balance is to try out different things and see what makes me happy, without making the husband and little ones unhappy.

However, if you see me wearing neon daisy dukes and roller skating down Beverly Drive it means I have gone over the deep end and should be stopped immediately.


Is anyone else struggling with this? Anybody figured out the balance yet?

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