Understanding Women’s Texts – A Beginner’s Guide

18 Jul

We say:  What are you up to this weekend?
We mean:   Are you planning something special for us this weekend?

We say:  How is your day going?
We mean:  Is now a bad time to tell you about the speeding ticket/dent in the car/preschool bill?

We say:  You said you had a business meeting at The Ivy at noon, but I happen to be there too and you weren’t anywhere to be found.
We mean:  Your cheating on me and I’m the crazy stalking type, so your a dead man walking.

We say:  You look cute.
We mean:  You look cute. Now tell me that I look cute/hot/sexy.

We say:  I haven’t heard from you in awhile.
We mean:  Where the f*** have you been all day and why haven’t you texted or called?

We say:  Call me back.
We mean:  Call me back within 30 minutes or I might go Fatal Attraction on you.

We say:  There was a little accident with one of the kids today at The Park.
We mean:  While I was busy gossiping with the other Moms, Junior took a head dive off the top of the big kid slide and has a concussion.

We say:  I love you.
We mean:  I love you.

xoxo

Did I miss any important lost in translation texts between the sexes? Let me know in the Comments section.

2 Responses to “Understanding Women’s Texts – A Beginner’s Guide”

  1. Melissa July 18, 2012 at 7:29 pm #

    Love this! Every guy in town needs to read this.

  2. Rachel July 18, 2012 at 7:29 pm #

    Les, you are hilarious! Omg– you are my dose of comic relief! Thank you!

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