Archive | August, 2012

Boys, Bras and Panties

31 Aug

Sometimes I forget that my just turned 6 year old is in fact only 6. Today, Auntie S, HB and I ran into one of her school friends at Froyolife. The two little Yentas immediately grabbed hands and started talking about boys. BOYS. Six years on this earth and they have already discovered the fun in eating Frozen Yogurt and gossiping about boys.
Next, the subject matter turned to Auntie and I. The girls were whispering and staring intensely at us and giggling. We could only imagine what those little mouths were saying.

When the three of us got back to the car, HB said, “So do you guys want to know what we were saying about you back there?” Why yes my dear, I sure do. We were talking about what kind of bra’s and underwear you both wear.

Auntie and I stared at each other blankly. “Ok, so what kind do we wear?” I braced myself for her response.

“Auntie wears tiny half underwear, it’s not whole underwear. Mommy your underwear is kinda half and your bra’s are really big and Auntie’s are flat.” I can just picture her walking into Victoria’s Secret and giving these descriptions to the saleslady. I guess in theory, she’s not really that far off. Considering her Auntie, my sister is a former swimsuit model, her underwear is pretty frickin’ half if you ask me.

Remember this all stemmed from a discussion little HB had with a girlfriend in the yogurt shop. Boys, bras and panties. Next thing you know she will want a Justin Bieber poster above her bed.  As soon as she turns 12 I’m leaving town.


Do you get the whole Justin Bieber thing? I like the song Boyfriend, as long as I picture an actual adult Male singing it. But that’s as far as my Bieber fever goes. As always, comments warmly welcomed :)

6 year olds with IPhones

31 Aug


Can I Borrow A Quarter? My Life Depends On It.

25 Aug

This week I had all 3 kids home, no camp and no help until the afternoons. With all the whining, fighting and demands I should have been focused on sheer survival. I wasn’t.
I was thinking a lot about intuition and gut feelings. How do you know the difference between what’s truly meant to be and a craving? What if you don’t trust your gut, will you end up making the wrong choices?
I see my younger sister S.N. everyday. We pretty much talk about everything under the sun. I trust her opinions and we’ve been going back and forth on this topic all week. She strongly subscribes to the gut feelings, intuition, and just “when you know you know” theory. She also believes that if your talking about firefighters and a fire truck parks in front of your house then it must be a sign of some kind, and I’m not sure I would go that far.
I can clearly look back at some moments in my life and now recognize that all the signs were there telling me that I wanted one thing, and I still chose the opposite. Decision making is a delicate dance. I have made pros and cons lists pages long when trying to decide on a house or Preschool only to arrive at the decision that I have no idea what the hell to do!
I’m going to start flipping a coin. If I like the winning side then I have my answer. If I’m disappointed, then I choose the opposite.
Yup, there you have it folks. My future and the future of this family has come down to heads or tails.



Waterproof Mascara Needed

20 Aug

You know the expression, “He wears his heart on his sleeve?” Well, I’m pretty sure I wear my heart on my forehead.

It’s not just the crying during every sad movie. Yes, I did have to walk out of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button because I was bawling so loudly. Or the fact that I can’t watch Feed The Children commercials without my chin quivering. It’s not these things that makes me say that. It’s the way I feel so raw, if someone hurts me. You would think that a 35 year old, educated, Mother of 3 would have thicker skin. I guess it’s situational. If someone calls me a bitch because I took their parking spot, that doesn’t bother me. If another Mother tells me that I’m not supervising my kids closely enough at The Park, that’s comedy, rolls right off my back.

It’s the stuff closer to home. A fight with one of my siblings can totally rock my world. When there are four other people in the world that know you in a way that only a brother or sister can, the thought of them being mad at you is terrifying. When one of my girlfriends tells me that I hurt her, I can actually feel the pain. Unless of course it was a result of a drunk girls night and in that case, nobody would be at fault anyways. When I was single and used to date, it was awful. All a new guy had to do was tell me that he was honest and sweet and I would have signed an affidavit attesting to that fact. No matter how many times I’ve seen ugly, I still believe in pretty.

I’ve been doing some soul searching lately. Trying to find the balance between Wife, Mom, Writer, Lover of all things Leopard, Retired Baby Maker, and Woman. I finally have my body back to do as I please, and I have to say I am really enjoying the transformation, albeit a slow one. I wish I could do all this learning in a more low profile way, but that’s just not my style. So if you see me at a birthday party and I burst into tears for no reason just remember I am fine. Or, if you pull up next to me and I am playing my music way too loud and dancing, also, totally fine.

And yes, this is definitely a first world problem.

Comments always welcome. Try clicking on LEAVE A REPLY.


Summer Ain’t For Sissies

19 Aug

Camp is officially over for my 6 year old daughter HB. School doesn’t start for another two weeks. What does this mean? It means the next two weeks are going to suck. Big time.

I tried to convince her to do another week of camp but she wants nothing to do with it. Little Miss wants Mommy time. That’s funny, because I want Mommy time too.

My friends who have a similar parenting style to mine totally sympathize with my anxiety over the next couple of weeks. The Mommy Mafia, on the other hand, they don’t understand why in the world I am batting an eyelash. The cherished time with their child conducting science experiments and crafting paper mache elephants sounds glorious to them. These are the same Women who frequently ask me why I don’t carry the twins in double Moby wraps anymore. Oh yes, did you know you can still wear two 25 pound children in slings and strap them to your body wherever you go? I am a person not a pack mule. I met a Woman at The Park today and she told me that she sets up obstacle courses for her kids in the backyard followed by a treasure hunt, concluding with cookie baking. I looked at her as if she had just told me that she was Jesus Christ himself. Where does this Woman get the energy, let alone the will to do that everyday? She did admit that she hadn’t seen the gym or a nail salon in years, so I guess that frees up some time, but still!

I know that being a Mother means being lots of things, a referee, a teacher, a cheerleader, a driver, a boo boo kisser….But I am not Martha Stewart and I am definitely not a Cruise Director. It looks like HB is going to be learning Espanol over the rest of the summer courtesy of Dora the Explorer and Spanish coloring books from the 99 cent store. See, I can be creative.


What are you doing for the rest of the summer? Interested in a dramatic yet delightful 6 year old?

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