Waterproof Mascara Needed

20 Aug

You know the expression, “He wears his heart on his sleeve?” Well, I’m pretty sure I wear my heart on my forehead.

It’s not just the crying during every sad movie. Yes, I did have to walk out of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button because I was bawling so loudly. Or the fact that I can’t watch Feed The Children commercials without my chin quivering. It’s not these things that makes me say that. It’s the way I feel so raw, if someone hurts me. You would think that a 35 year old, educated, Mother of 3 would have thicker skin. I guess it’s situational. If someone calls me a bitch because I took their parking spot, that doesn’t bother me. If another Mother tells me that I’m not supervising my kids closely enough at The Park, that’s comedy, rolls right off my back.

It’s the stuff closer to home. A fight with one of my siblings can totally rock my world. When there are four other people in the world that know you in a way that only a brother or sister can, the thought of them being mad at you is terrifying. When one of my girlfriends tells me that I hurt her, I can actually feel the pain. Unless of course it was a result of a drunk girls night and in that case, nobody would be at fault anyways. When I was single and used to date, it was awful. All a new guy had to do was tell me that he was honest and sweet and I would have signed an affidavit attesting to that fact. No matter how many times I’ve seen ugly, I still believe in pretty.

I’ve been doing some soul searching lately. Trying to find the balance between Wife, Mom, Writer, Lover of all things Leopard, Retired Baby Maker, and Woman. I finally have my body back to do as I please, and I have to say I am really enjoying the transformation, albeit a slow one. I wish I could do all this learning in a more low profile way, but that’s just not my style. So if you see me at a birthday party and I burst into tears for no reason just remember I am fine. Or, if you pull up next to me and I am playing my music way too loud and dancing, also, totally fine.

And yes, this is definitely a first world problem.

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One Response to “Waterproof Mascara Needed”

  1. staciegh August 25, 2012 at 8:03 pm #

    hello! I just happen to find your blog and read this post by chance. I too am very soft hearted, but I get upset if someone looks at me the wrong way. I do let some things roll off my back, but most of the time I take everything personal. So you’re not alone!! :)

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