My Kids Are Gifted In A Real Special Way

23 Oct

My children are geniuses. Not in the typical sense of the word. They are perfectly bright and all that, but their real talent lies in knowing how to push me over the edge.

They have a sixth sense of sorts. A rare gift that allows them to know just when I’m teetering on the edge and gives them the superpower they need to launch me off the cliff. I like to think that I usually keep my cool in front of the children. I’ve been told by several of my Mommy friends that they are shocked at how I rarely yell. If you hear me yelling it means that some kind of serious trouble went down. The last time I lost control was when I told my 6 year old that I had a headache and was exhausted, so could she please give me a few minutes to lie down. Just as I began to decompress and feel my muscles relax, she jumped up from under the bed and scared the shit out of me. Hilarity did not ensue. Yelling did. (side note: I have had an irrational fear my entire life that someone is hiding under my bed.) Kids Rock.

You know how you have that friend that always knows just what to say in your time of need? Yah, well my kids are the antithesis of that person. Feeling fat? My kid will ask you if you have a baby in your tummy. Feeling old? My kid will ask if you have grandchildren even though your 35. Feeling like you you can’t take one more sleepless night? Guess who is suddenly terrified of the shadows in their room? Yup, my kid.

The good news is if Warthogs opens up a new school for children with a special ability to sense when a parent has reached their absolute limit, mine will get in on a full scholarship.




3 Responses to “My Kids Are Gifted In A Real Special Way”

  1. Adrian Gluck October 24, 2012 at 3:08 am #

    Great writing, Leslie! Love, Dad

    Sent from my Windows Phone ________________________________

  2. Tami @Colorado Mountain Mom October 24, 2012 at 2:54 pm #

    Way. Too. Funny. I can’t begin to top this, so I won’t bother getting into how my 7 yr old daughter skillfully pushes my buttons.

    I met The Beverly Hills Mom for the 1st time last week, and I owe her a thank you for pointing me in your direction. (Is that first comment really from your dad? My mom leaves comments on my blog under what she thinks are anonymous, made-up names. It makes me laugh every time, they are so obviously written by her…)

    I’ll be back. New fan! :)

    • 90210mom October 24, 2012 at 8:01 pm #

      Hi Colorado Mountain Mom!
      I’m glad you liked my post :) Yes, that comment is in fact from my father. He didn’t even try to be anonymous. Thanks for reading!

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