The Door Handle From Hell aka Why I Locked The Twins In Their Room

12 Nov

I would guess that from exteriors only I seem like the slightly princess-ey type. I love fashion, all things girly, and I would never say no to a spa day.
I also secretly consider myself pretty handy. I have assembled, disassembled and fixed quite a few things in my time. I don’t read directions, I just fiddle with whatever it is until I figure it out. I’m not talking major things here. I don’t do electrical, I don’t do plumbing and I don’t do anything involving getting on a roof. I have rarely come across something I can’t fix or put together while my husband is at work. All except, this frickin’ door handle.
After consulting the Pediatrician I decided that the only way to keep the twins in their room at night was to lock their door. Dr. C, who I would trust with my life, assured me that it would not permanently damage the kids to lock the door to prevent that from coming into my room at all hours of the night. I had tried everything else for the past month since moving them to toddler beds and nothing was helping. No bribe, no explanation, no amount of imaginary monster spray was going to keep them in those beds. So it was time to lock them in. I know it sounds awful, but like I said, it was my last resort and it had to be done.
I went to the hardware store and told the sales guy with the multiple odd piercings that I needed to bolt my kids into their room from the outside in. He didn’t bat an eyelash. Must be more common than I think. He explained to me that my best bet was to just change the door handle to the kind that locks because of an array of reasons. He assured me that I would be able to do it myself no problem and that I could call him on his cell if I had any questions. Great.
My project started out just fine, I removed the original door handle no problem. Then things started going South, quickly. The screws didn’t seem long enough and the holes weren’t matching up and everything just seem slightly cock-eyed. I managed to get the handle on, but I knew I had done a crappy job. When Auntie Stacey tried it out, she opened the door after I had locked it, with a little push. Just shoot me.
But the real test was when the twins tried the door, they couldn’t get out! I did it, it worked! I was proud. Even took a picture of my job well done.
The next two weeks were beautiful. It only took one night for them to realize that they weren’t getting out and they didn’t even try again. Until last night…..
At 2am I felt something tickling my cheek in the darkness. I jumped up, screamed and there was Jacob. “Hi Mommy, my door no locked, I come sleep with you now?”
The lock is busted, the door handle is a failure. I blew it. The twins are free, I am sleep deprived. Again.
I guess I am not so handy. In search of a handyman or handywoman ASAP.

xoxo

Are you handy? Do you happen to know how to install a door handle? I want to know :)

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3 Responses to “The Door Handle From Hell aka Why I Locked The Twins In Their Room”

  1. Jolie November 12, 2012 at 6:51 pm #

    Wait – what’s happening here? Are they in beds, or are they hurdling crib walls to get to you? You’ve got to admire their determination. I can’t remember the last time I worked that hard for anything.

    • 90210mom November 12, 2012 at 6:56 pm #

      They started climbing out of the cribs. Currently in a race car toddler bed and TR in Converted crib. I might as well adopt a family bed at this point since HB is still sneaking in on most nights as well. I swear, I am not that exciting kids!

      • Izzy Hirson November 12, 2012 at 10:54 pm #

        Buy a new door. Get Home Depot to install the lock and deliver the door to your home! That is the princessey way to go!

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