Writer’s Block – A Terrible Place To Live

27 Nov

I like to consider myself a recreational writer on most days. On some days I actually call myself a real live writer. Today, I wouldn’t call myself a writer in any way, shape or form. I showed up to my writing class at UCLA this morning feeling pretty spiffy that I had a solid introduction written to my final term paper. As I listened to the assigned readers for today share their latest material, I realized that my work was complete crap.
I had struggled for weeks just trying to decide what my topic was going to be. The assignment was to write an essay about absolutely anything I so desired. The only contingencies were that it had to be non-fiction and a personal essay. Considering the class is titled , Writing Your Healing Story, you can imagine the topics that were being covered. The Death of spouses, parents and children, Cancer, suicide, and unimaginable pain of all kinds.

What the hell was I supposed to write about?

One Woman in class writes about the loss of her Mother so beautifully that I find myself wondering if my children will ever love me as much as she loved her Mom. I can feel her Mother’s warmth. I can feel her profound love for her Mother and I can grasp her pain just by listening to her words. She is an amazing writer. Another writer in class writes about humans rescuing scarred and forgotten animals. In his essays, the true rescue and life renewed takes places in the person’s life because of the animal, not vice versa.

I decided to write about my time that I spent at a boarding school in the mountains of San Bernadino. While it isn’t quite the same as death or disease it was a pretty traumatic time in my life. It took me 5 hours to write my intro. Just my introduction! That is crazy for me. I am a one run writer. I write almost all my posts and essays in one shot, no drafts, no re-writes. Writing is a fast paced and super stream of consciousness process for me. But this topic and this essay is proving to be nothing of the sort. I know it’s a story I want to write, but somehow my words on the page don’t seem to be enough.

I love to write. I love this blog. But for today, I’m thinking maybe I should just stick to being a stay at home Mom to twins plus one…

I’m sure I will change my mind tomorrow, I usually do.

xoxo

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One Response to “Writer’s Block – A Terrible Place To Live”

  1. Izzy November 27, 2012 at 11:08 pm #

    Firstly, you are an amazing writer! Secondly, the best way to look at this class is how lucky you are not to have experienced a tragedy like the individuals in the class!
    So it all boils down to writing about what is on your mind – if they are happy thoughts – put them down on paper and it will be a happy paper. If you are feeling sad then put your sadness on paper and it will be a touching piece. It is not about the story but more about how you present it and from what I have read up to now has been my laugh of the day!! Not many people can write about raising such little kids with as much humor as you do.
    So – one glass of wine and back to writing!!!!

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