I’m Raising A Sociopath.

30 May

A couple of weeks ago, my oldest daughter HB, age 6.5 came home from school and announced proudly that she had been voted Class President. At first I was a little confused. Class President in first grade? How does a first grader campaign for office? I was also surprised that her teacher would decide to do this now with only about a month left of school.

Nonetheless, I was thrilled, beaming like a strobe light. My baby girl, Class President. Maybe I wasn’t doing such a bad job mothering these kids after all.
HB told my sister and I all the exact details about how her teacher had selected three students, the class would get to choose their President from these selected three. HB explained that these kids were picked because they had a positive attitude, great grades and are fantastic leaders (really beaming now.)
Then all the children in the class voted by putting their heads down on their desks and raising a hand when the teacher said the name of the person that they wanted to be their Class President.
Lo and behold, when the votes were tallied my girl had won the vote of her peers by a landslide she reported.
My sister and I then heard all about the cool responsibilities that she would have and all the choices she would get to make on behalf of her fellow classmates. I called the grandparents on both sides and told all my closest friends about this huge accomplishment.

I thought to myself, “These are the moments that make all those crappy moments totally worth it.”

-Flash forward to a few days after her big election news-

HB comes to my room and says with a smirk on her face that she has something really hilariously funny to tell me.
I cannot frickin’ wait to hear this one, I tell her.

HB: You know how I told you that I got voted Class President last week…..well…..um…I didn’t win.
ME: Oh honey thats ok, you will win next time, you don’t have to be embarrassed.
HB: No Mommy, I made the whole thing up.
ME: HUH?
HB: There was no election, no three people chosen, we don’t do that kind of thing in 1st grade.
ME: —-BLANK STARE—-
HB: Sorry, It won’t happen again, You should probably call everyone and tell them it was a joke.

Not only did my child not win the title and honor of class president, but she single handedly fooled me, my sister, my friends and all of our relatives. She had the details down pat, she had a straight face the entire time!

The bad news is, she might be a pathological liar, possible sociopath and I seem to be failing miserably as a Mother.

The good news is, looks like she is actually heading for a life in politics.

xoxo

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4 Responses to “I’m Raising A Sociopath.”

  1. Ellen J May 30, 2013 at 5:01 pm #

    This is priceless! A story you guys are going to have to tell for many years to come, and to embarrass her with when she brings home her first major boyfriend, and then your grandkids, and so on and so forth. Thanks for the chuckle!

    • 90210mom June 15, 2013 at 10:51 am #

      Glad it made you laugh! xoxo

  2. Izzy Hirson May 30, 2013 at 8:16 pm #

    That was hilarious!! She got that from her Papa as he had us all fooled with a letter from NASA. Ask him about it.

  3. Dagmara Almand June 11, 2013 at 4:05 pm #

    love this one….
    “A” hasn’t pulled those kind of antics on me yet :)

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