Lunching Lady of Leisure

26 Jun

I’m going to allow the offender in this story to remain nameless. I believe if I did share his name, he might be hunted down and beat by every housewife on the planet.

Last week, I was confronted by this person and asked,
“What exactly do you do all day?”
I could see where this was going from the first three words.
“What do you mean, what do I do all day?” I asked back
Well, he replied, “your kids are now all in camp from 9:30am – 2pm, so you have an entire day to yourself.”

An entire day to myself. HA!

Here’s what I did yesterday:

6am-8:50am – Fed kids, had multiple complaints about the food and service, dressed kids, groomed kids, played with kids, disciplined kids, put my workout clothes on, wiped kids, begged all to put socks and shoes on, watched all 3 take socks and shoes off, put all shoes and socks back on, got everyone out the front door, convinced them to get in their carseats, threatened with calls to police if they didn’t get buckled, took away toys, had a book thrown at me, the neighbor gave me a nasty look, finally loaded everyone in the car, left the extra camp clothes bags in the house, ran back in the house while two of the kids screamed not to leave them alone in the car with the crazy squirrels, finally got to Olympic Blvd. to head to camp to search for a parking spot. Realized that I forgot to eat and never drank my coffee that I had reheated three times.

9:05am – 9:30am – Drop off kids #1, 2, and 3 at 2 different camps.

9:40am – 10:45am – Workout and dry cleaners

11am – 11:30am – Shower and get dressed

11:45am – 1:15 pm – Trader Joe’s and Ralph’s, unload groceries, organize fridge, cleaned up from breakfast.

1:15pm – 1:45pm – returned phone calls, sent emails, made appointments, ate something, finally.

1:45pm – 2pm – drive to camp, park, take a deep breath and pick up the first 2 kids.

*all time gaps allow for LA traffic and parking.

That is a typical day just from 6am to 2pm. Then, we have assorted activities, errands, dinner and baths, and bedtime routines, from 2-8:30pm.
On a day when I have to squeeze in a doctor’s appointment, a meeting or feel like actually writing, it’s busier. Not to mention, I still have a child, sometimes two, who refuse to sleep through the night.

I’m not saying, woe is me, look what a hard working, busy Mom I am. I am well aware that there are women who do twice as much as what I do while schlepping three toddlers along with them. There are women who have to work all day and still figure out how to pay for the groceries. I am grateful that I am not in that situation.

However – I WORK HARD. I am not lunching at the Ivy and having facials all day at The Four Seasons. Quite frankly, even if I was, as long as my kids were covered and taken care of for that day, it’s my prerogative.

I have learned and changed dramatically since becoming a Mother. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I decided to go off the pill. I have learned that until you have walked a mile in someone else’s shoes, you have no right to judge them.

So, to the unnamed person who asked, “What exactly do you do all day?”

My answer is, “My kids are healthy, loved and safe. Everything else is none of your f*cking business.”



8 Responses to “Lunching Lady of Leisure”

  1. Rachel June 26, 2013 at 3:21 pm #

    Oh Leslie, thank you for this. I’d like to spew out this post whenever someone asks me “the question!”

  2. Izzy Hirson June 27, 2013 at 12:53 am #

    This is my comment to your un named **s hole who does not have anything better to do than check on your day to day routine. ” I dress my kids and drop them off to camp and then have a leisurely walk on Rodeo Drive and maybe stop and buy a hand bag or 2 and then go home and get all faputzed to have lunch with my girlfriends and flirt with the BH good looking guys. Then I pick up the kids and we have a picnic and throw popcorn on people passing by. By the end of that we are all exhausted so we drag ourselves to the newest, trendiest restaurant and fill ourselves with their delicious fare with a bottle or 2 of Chateau Lafitte (I am trying to teach my kids to appreciate good wine) and then we go home and dump the kids in their beds and end the night with some wild sex! So a** hole – how do you spend your day?? Probably not as exhausting as mine. Oh you must have such a great life! Would you like to babysit my kids while my husband and I go on a 12 day cruise???”

    • 90210mom June 27, 2013 at 5:19 pm #

      You are hilarious Izzy! xoxo

  3. Alex T. June 27, 2013 at 8:00 am #

    If you’ve been up every night for the kids for the past 7 years, you deserve at least 21 years of lunching with the ladies.

  4. jp June 29, 2013 at 9:41 am #

    Some of things you probably said today ( during your spare time).

    I put this on my facebook page.

    • 90210mom July 5, 2013 at 9:27 am #

      That was hilarious, and very true JP!

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