Archive | July, 2013

Mommy: The Lying Dream Crusher (that’s me)

5 Jul

I hate disappointing my children. That look of heartbreak they give you that shoots directly to your tear ducts. Brutal.

When HB was 3, I promised her that she could take Ballet class after school. Exactly one day after I made the promise, I was put on bed rest, 8 months pregnant with her twin brother and sister.

Breaking the news to her was like telling her that I would be collecting all her stuffed animals and murdering them one by one. She cried, she screamed, she sobbed. She even told me that I ruined her dream of becoming a ballerina. Ouch.

Disneyland plans will get rained out. Birthday parties will get cancelled. The Fourth sibling that the kids want, will never ever happen. All bummers, but that’s life.

Yesterday, The Huntington Library was closed, after driving all the way to San Marino with a carload of crankies. We went on and on about all the great works of art they would get to see. The beautiful children’s garden they could run through. We even came up with some nutso story about a secret land of Panda Bears and Koi fish that they had there.

Lo and behold, we pull up, big beautiful gates closed and locked tight. CLOSED.
What happened next was even more surprising than seeing that the library and gardens were closed (despite the website not saying so).

Nobody freaked out. Not one scream. Not one single, “But you said we were going in there! Why did you lie! This is the worst day ever!”

I calmly said, “Ok, I guess we made a mistake, let’s go somewhere else that’s fun.”

They went for it.
We went on to have a great rest of the day. Not the day we had planned, but a good one nonetheless.

As hard as I try, I will disappoint my children. Life will disappoint them. Friends, lovers, and spouses will disappoint them. They will disappoint themselves. What matters in the face of all this is what they do next.

I don’t think it’s my job to make sure they are never let down in life. I think it’s my job to teach them how to react when they are let down in life.



Musical Massacre

1 Jul

I wonder if only my kids can turn the world’s happiest song into the most depressing song ever?

8:45am, all the kids loaded into the back of the car after 2 hours and 45 minutes of me counting down until it was time to take them to camp.

I decide to give the kids a break from the Adult music that I usually make them listen to. I’ve never been one for kiddie tunes. I have found that KROQ and most of my iPod selections are actually pretty harmless. Except for that time the song, Detachable Penis came on KROQ during flashback Lunch, it took me a week to explain that one to them.

I ask if they have any requests. Shockingly, Unanimously, they agree, Mickey!

They are screaming for the customized Mickey CD that says Talia’s name every five seconds.
It’s probably one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard. Mickey Mouse does not quite have the Israeli accent down when pronouncing Talia. He sounds so confident as he says her name incorrectly over and over again. “Hey Tahlyeha, want to sing a song with Mickey today?! That’s great!”

They all start screaming about who wants which song and in what order.

After a five minute debate we all decide on the good old standby, If You’re Happy and You Know It.

Mickey sings, If you’re happy and you know it clap you’re hands…. And all 3 kids clap enthusiastically.

This is where things get ugly…

HB: Its my turn to clap! I’m the oldest!

J: I wanna clap! I’m gonna clap!

T: It’s my song! Mickey sayin’ my name, this is my song!

Me: We can all clap together, we are a family.

HB: You don’t get it Mom, obviously you don’t remember being a kid.

T: My song! My song! My song!!!!

J: You are all poo poo faces! I hate you!

Arguably, one of childhood’s sweetest melodies, butchered by my backseat angels. All they had to do was clap those little hands, stomp those tiny feet, and possibly shout hooray. But, no, not going to happen. G-D forbid they give me one of those perfect Mommy moments where I get to sigh and bask. Glow with pride as their voices join in sweet unison and think, Wow, Leslie, all this hard work really is worth it.

I’ve had those Mommy Moments. Usually, it’s when I watch the kids sleep. I will tell you that I do know that this is all worth it. I may not have proof yet, I just know it. Just like I know that these three kids love each other. They may not be saying it all the time, or clapping their hands or shouting hooray as one unit. I feel it, I see it, I know it.

They aren’t ready to sing together yet, but I know that when the time comes, they will.



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