Mommy: The Lying Dream Crusher (that’s me)

5 Jul

I hate disappointing my children. That look of heartbreak they give you that shoots directly to your tear ducts. Brutal.

When HB was 3, I promised her that she could take Ballet class after school. Exactly one day after I made the promise, I was put on bed rest, 8 months pregnant with her twin brother and sister.

Breaking the news to her was like telling her that I would be collecting all her stuffed animals and murdering them one by one. She cried, she screamed, she sobbed. She even told me that I ruined her dream of becoming a ballerina. Ouch.

Disneyland plans will get rained out. Birthday parties will get cancelled. The Fourth sibling that the kids want, will never ever happen. All bummers, but that’s life.

Yesterday, The Huntington Library was closed, after driving all the way to San Marino with a carload of crankies. We went on and on about all the great works of art they would get to see. The beautiful children’s garden they could run through. We even came up with some nutso story about a secret land of Panda Bears and Koi fish that they had there.

Lo and behold, we pull up, big beautiful gates closed and locked tight. CLOSED.
What happened next was even more surprising than seeing that the library and gardens were closed (despite the website not saying so).

Nobody freaked out. Not one scream. Not one single, “But you said we were going in there! Why did you lie! This is the worst day ever!”

I calmly said, “Ok, I guess we made a mistake, let’s go somewhere else that’s fun.”

They went for it.
We went on to have a great rest of the day. Not the day we had planned, but a good one nonetheless.

As hard as I try, I will disappoint my children. Life will disappoint them. Friends, lovers, and spouses will disappoint them. They will disappoint themselves. What matters in the face of all this is what they do next.

I don’t think it’s my job to make sure they are never let down in life. I think it’s my job to teach them how to react when they are let down in life.



One Response to “Mommy: The Lying Dream Crusher (that’s me)”

  1. photosbyandy July 5, 2013 at 12:35 pm #

    well said. love the cartoon as welll

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