Sarcasm is Motherhood Set On Fire

6 Aug

My sarcasm level has reached an all time high.

I am still looking at 3 weeks until all the kids are back in school.

I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around how I’ve even made it this far. I am already 10 days deep into Mommy Camp and I am fried. Deep Fried.

6am-8pm, entertaining three children under the age of 7. I swear, just the thought of it gives me hives, literally. As I write this, I have hives on my chest. If there was such a thing as Summer Time Fear Hives, these would be them.

I can handle a week with all of them, no problem. Do a Griffith Park horsey/train day. Do a Long Beach Aquarium adventure. Do a Zimmer Museum outing. Chill at the park one day. But this? Over one month with no camp or school?

I am aware that there are wonderful Pinterest boards full of crafts and cooking projects that I could set up for the kids. Every time I check them out, I think to myself, if I was into this stuff I would have become a school teacher. As for backyard relays and scavenger hunts, again, if I was that energetic and fun, I probably wouldn’t be sitting here writing about my hate for Summer break.

At this point you might be wondering why I had kids at all… Trust me, I have thought the same thing over the past ten days more than once.

I love being a Mom. I love having three kids. I love spending time with them. I also know that I am a better Mom when exposed to my kids in moderation. In other words, I need my breaks! I crave my alone time. I have to have those few hours while they nap or go to school to recharge and regroup.

A family member once told me that I am not a “natural mother.” I guess that could be interpreted in many different and mostly offensive ways. If needing breaks and adult socialization while being a stay at home Mom makes me “unnatural” then so be it.

For now, I am relying heavily on M&M’s for bribery, the TV for distraction, and the calendar, to mark each day that we get closer to school starting.

Sarcasm and humor are guiding my way as it usually does.

I read an article yesterday that said, children don’t comprehend sarcasm. If that’s the case then I wonder if my kids have understood anything I’ve been saying to them all these years?



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