Big Pimpin’ Loud Talkin’

19 May

Loud talkers have got to be the most annoying people on the planet. I’m sitting here at my local Coffee Bean on Beverly Drive trying to write, key word – trying. I am seated next to the loudest of all loud talkers ever.

He’s mid to late 60’s, faded New York accent, shades on, decent looking guy. Still has his hair and a young mans shape. He’s sitting with a group of about four other men his age and they are currently discussing sex. Yuck.

Now, if there is anything worse than a loud talker, it’s a loud talker that talk about inappropriate subject matter in front of children. My kids are all spoken for and signed into their classrooms.
The woman sitting next to me is not so lucky. She is with her daughter who looks to be about 8 years old. I want to warn the mother that she should probably just leave now. I’ve been sitting next to this guy for 20 minutes and she should take her daughter and leave before she hears something that can’t be unheard.

Loud talker: I mean come on guys, we aren’t fu**ing gorgeous women like we used to and we should be. We are good looking guys! I looked like Tom Selleck in the 70’s.

His Friend: I love you man. Let me show you pictures of me from the 80’s, I was a handsome son of a bitch. Like a young Jerry Seinfeld, but funnier.

Loud Talker: I was a Hair Stylist, I could make you look 10 years younger. You could get some real tail with my help. Isn’t this weather amazing?! I don’t have to worry that I will come home and my cat will be dead!

It was after this strange cat statement that the Mother sitting next to me decided to get up with her daughter and leave. I wonder what the final straw was for her. Was it when he said, f**cking gorgeous women or was it when he talked about his possibly dead cat?

Today’s post is dedicated to you Mr. Loud Talker. Not only are you loud and disruptive, you are offensive and totally odd all at the same time. People are right, L.A. Is full of untapped talent.

xoxo

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