Archive | September, 2014

The Hippy, The Cop and The Phobic Actress – My Treasures

24 Sep

I learned something huge this year that has made me a better person. It might be one of the most important life lessons I have picked up so far. Ready?

People are born who they are.

I am sure of it, without a doubt that humans come with their core spirit in tact when they arrive in this world. I have watched three of my children from birth to the ages of four and eight and they are each unique individuals in their own right.

The biggest opportunity I’ve had to see this is with my twins. They were grown in the same womb, at the exact same time, with all the same conditions. After birth they were fed the same food, slept in the same crib, strolled in the same stroller and played with the same toys.

Yet, these two twins could not be more different.

TR – Is a free spirit through and through. She can’t control herself from screaming along and swirling her hips wildly every time she hears the faintest hint of music.
JH – Covers his ears if the music is too loud and is extremely particular about the tunes he enjoys and those he hates.
TR- Sees a neighbor’s sprinklers soaking their lawn, runs over fully clothed, throws herself to the ground head first to roll in it without a pause.
JH- watches this in horror. Looks at me and in a state of panic yells to his twin sister, “Please! Get up! You are going to get dirty and arrested, that not our lawn!”
This scenario pretty much sums it up. It has been this way as long as I can remember. He is who he is and she is who she is.

Do I believe that a person’s spirit can be altered and even broken? Of course! Can a parent or peers affect the behavior or actions of a child? absolutely! Just as I know now that a human can also be nurtured and spirit lit aglow by those around them who see what makes them shine at their core.

I constantly hear parents trying to figure out what is wrong with their kid. Parents want to know why their child does things differently than their peers. Why are they having a harder time raising or understanding their child than the other parents?

My answer is that yes, there are some kids that really do have developmental and behavioral issues that need to be addressed professionally. For the most part, parents and teachers are missing the point that children are people too. They are born with their own unique spirit. What makes one child light up inside May make another one feel hollow. Children have dynamic personalities before us as parents even get our hands on them.

I’ve learned to take a step back when dealing with my children. What makes one daughter painfully difficult to handle in one situation is also what makes her remarkably easy in another. What makes my son quirky one moment, is also what makes him spectacularly unique the next. What would normally embarrass me about my child, I embrace. Most of the time.

I encourage you to read stories about the childhoods of some of the wold’s greatest scientists, artists, inventors, humanitarians, writers and CEO’s. I can guarantee you that you will find stories of serious quirkiness and major oddball wackiness. I bet their parents will say it was all worth it in the end.



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