Archive | January, 2015

Quotes To Live By – Easier Said Than Done

22 Jan

Call me sentimental and cheesy, but I search for quotes at random at least once a week. Even when I’m reading the same words over and over again, when they pop up in front of me. It’s as if I’m finding them for the first time. I could do without some of the watercolor backgrounds and butterflies that come along as visuals. But I love my quotes all the same.
Maybe one day I will actually live by all of them and my world will be perfect.

Yeah, I doubt it.

Some favorites:

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xoxo

You Can Have A Penis And Love Pink.

14 Jan

The tough questions from your kids always come when you least expect them. In the car this morning while rushing to Preschool with all three kids my 4.5 year old son JH, asked me “If a boy likes the color pink does that make him a girl?”

Shit. Here we go, I thought. This is an important topic to me. I want to nail this one. This is a defining moment. How will I define gender and gender stereotypes to my children? Shit.

I blurted out, “Liking pink does not make you a girl. You are a boy if you have a penis and a girl if you have a vagina,” that answer seemed good enough for them, and Preschool drop off continued.

Now that I’m alone at my Coffee Bean and thinking back to what I said, I’m not sure if I did the right thing. I really have no idea what the right thing to say is. I think that the answer to “What makes a boy a boy and what makes a girl a girl?” Is a complicated question in this day and age. For those who are strongly guided by religion I would assume its a no brainer.
For me, it seems like an answer that will change and deviate as my children mature. Am I going to explain to my 8 and 4.5 year olds what transgender, transconfused, or gender neutral is? Not at this point.

When kids are this young, the devil is in the details. They don’t really need all the details of what it technically/sexually/societally means to be a boy or a girl. What they need to know for now is that they are loved and accepted by me no matter what. No matter what colors they like, no matter who they love, no matter what they do, I love and accept them. So, for now, I think my answer was sufficient. Besides, this won’t be the last time they ask. I will have plenty of opportunities to answer them over and over and over again with my words and my actions.

Until they are old enough to wave a flag of any kind I’m just here to help them along their paths the best I can.

xoxo

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Beware! We Are Now A Mobile Unit – L.A. to Phoenix

6 Jan

We finally took our first real road trip with all three kids during winter break. L.A. to The Grand Canyon. My oldest daughter being 8 and the twins now 4, I knew it was time. I couldn’t really play the, “they just aren’t ready yet” card any longer. Besides, they were probably ready a year ago, I was the one that wasn’t ready.

There are some people who have the type of kids who sleep through the night at 6 weeks, eat carrots like its candy, hop in the stroller on demand and wave bye-bye sweetly at the Preschool gates.
My children just don’t operate that way. Don’t get me wrong, each child has their strengths and weaknesses and every one quirky and delightful in their own special way.

I remember listening to my girlfriend tell me about how she took her three kids all under the age of seven to Israel by herself. That’s a 15 hour flight time, not including what you can imagine you have to go through at the airport. She said it wasn’t that bad, the kids slept when they were tired, ate when they were hungry and she will definitely do it again next Summer. I stared at her with wide eyes and totally silent for about two minutes just imagining how such an endeavor would go with my kids. I spoke, “I can guarantee you, my kids would have had our aisle filled with vomit, pee, poop, smashed fishy crackers, and possibly even blood before take off.”

It’s not that my kids aren’t well behaved, because actually I would be proud to say in most situations they are great listeners and surprisingly respectful. It’s more that they don’t have the most adaptable and easy going personalities in the world. I can’t imagine having it any other way. Fierce, outgoing, opinionated, and determined, the qualities of future great leaders. Of course by then, I will be a haggard old woman with totally shot nerves and a head full of hard earned grey hair.

So…. How did the kids do on the road trip? We never made it to the Grand Canyon. We did make it to Phoenix and the kids were fantastic. Nobody peed or pooped in a car seat. Not one trip to the ER, or urgent care. We more than just survived. We had fun, we laughed, we learned, we bonded.

My babies aren’t babies anymore. They are old enough for road trips and I would assume that now they are more than ready for some plane trips. What’s even more interesting is that I’m ready. I’m not a baby anymore. I’m a braver mother now than I was a few years ago. I have proven to myself that I can pack up three kids and go beyond our comfort zone.

I might actually be growing up, maybe I’m not a baby anymore, either.

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