You Can Have A Penis And Love Pink.

14 Jan

The tough questions from your kids always come when you least expect them. In the car this morning while rushing to Preschool with all three kids my 4.5 year old son JH, asked me “If a boy likes the color pink does that make him a girl?”

Shit. Here we go, I thought. This is an important topic to me. I want to nail this one. This is a defining moment. How will I define gender and gender stereotypes to my children? Shit.

I blurted out, “Liking pink does not make you a girl. You are a boy if you have a penis and a girl if you have a vagina,” that answer seemed good enough for them, and Preschool drop off continued.

Now that I’m alone at my Coffee Bean and thinking back to what I said, I’m not sure if I did the right thing. I really have no idea what the right thing to say is. I think that the answer to “What makes a boy a boy and what makes a girl a girl?” Is a complicated question in this day and age. For those who are strongly guided by religion I would assume its a no brainer.
For me, it seems like an answer that will change and deviate as my children mature. Am I going to explain to my 8 and 4.5 year olds what transgender, transconfused, or gender neutral is? Not at this point.

When kids are this young, the devil is in the details. They don’t really need all the details of what it technically/sexually/societally means to be a boy or a girl. What they need to know for now is that they are loved and accepted by me no matter what. No matter what colors they like, no matter who they love, no matter what they do, I love and accept them. So, for now, I think my answer was sufficient. Besides, this won’t be the last time they ask. I will have plenty of opportunities to answer them over and over and over again with my words and my actions.

Until they are old enough to wave a flag of any kind I’m just here to help them along their paths the best I can.



2 Responses to “You Can Have A Penis And Love Pink.”

  1. Sean January 14, 2015 at 12:27 pm #

    Sometimes you scare me just a little. 

    You are great with Titles 

    Sent from my Verizon Wireless 4G LTE smartphone

  2. Evan Pinchuk January 14, 2015 at 2:12 pm #

    Nice post 😊—Sent via IPhoneThis email, including attachments, is covered by the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 18 U.S.C. and is considered confidential and may be legally privileged. If you received this message

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