I Murdered The Tooth Fairy

3 Feb

If they were giving out awards two days ago for shittiest mom of the week I would have won, hands down. The panel of judges in this shitty mom contest would have all looked at each other and nodded their heads because it was obviously a no brainer. I won.

I single handedly crushed my eldest daughter’s belief in all things magical. She is 8 and still believes in the Tooth Fairy. She has sat me down multiple times and demanded the truth, I haven’t caved, this fairy is real and I want to keep her alive.

Until two days ago. I completely robbed my child of all hope that in fact there was a beautiful fairy that came when you lost a darling baby tooth.
She had a tooth that fell out awhile ago and with the holidays and everything, I messed up, I forgot to put the money under her pillow. The next day, I slipped it near her closet and pretended the Tooth Fairy must have Ben disoriented because it was so dark. She bought it. Close call.
She rediscovered that same tooth in her jewelry box two days ago and decided that she was going to put it under her pillow last night since she never truly redeemed her earnings on that tooth. Makes perfect sense, better late than never. She wrote the tooth fairy an adorable note and she had some questions that she wanted answered. She told me that it couldn’t hurt to ask and she would include a quarter for the fairy as reimbursement for taking her time to write HB back. Then she went on to make a little house for the fairy, with a bed and a chair and a dressing area.




I tucked her in to sleep later that night and went about my usual night. Cleaning up, emails, phone calls, lunches, laundry on and on. I passed out at 9pm with my clothes on and next thing I knew I looked up and there was my HB with tears streaming down her cheeks. “Mama she didn’t come, she didn’t read the note, I built her a house, she either forgot me or she isn’t real.” Then collapsed into a puddle of tears on my bed.

All I could think was, what kind of mother does something like this? All I had to do was slip five bucks under this kids pillow and a little note and I couldn’t swing it? What an a**hole. The award for shittiest mother of the week, maybe even the month, goes to 90210mom! Thank you, thank you very much.

The good news is I was basically a high school truant and I can lie like it’s nobody’s business when I’m in survival mode. I calmly explained to her that because it was an older tooth it takes the Tooth Fairy a day or toe to get to those teeth. She must address the newly fallen teeth first.
She. Bought. It.

Here’s our happy ending:
Last night, I typed a lovely note from our dear fairy begging for her forgiveness for being tardy, reminding her to brush twice a day and left $8 dollars because she is 8.
This morning I waited and prayed that it worked. She had the money and the note in her hand when she walked in to my room and was just staring at me. I didn’t say a word.

HB – “Mama did you do this?”
Me – “Of course not!”
HB – “Then she’s real!!!”
Me – “You bet she is.”


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