Ready For Takeoff!

20 Dec

When I found out 6 years ago that I was pregnant with twins I was utterly shocked and over the moon ecstatic. It didn’t take that long for the reality to set in because I already had a 3 year old at home and I knew how hard being a mother was. I wasn’t heading blissfully into motherhood, I knew what was waiting for me… Times two.

So, I decided early on that I was going to have to do this my way because it was the only way I was going to survive having three children under 3 and a half. 

My first decision was that I would not be breastfeeding the twins. Not for a second. No debate. It wasn’t up for discussion. As a second time mother I had the confidence to make that choice and not second guess myself. I could have never had don’t that my first, I cared too much about what the experts, the other mothers, and everyone else thought about “what’s best” for my child.

The second decision I made was that I was going to need help. I was not going to be a martyr and try to tell everyone how I did it all alone day after day. I was very clear with my husband that we needed to do everything possible to make sure I was not going to be left alone to take care of all three children when they were little. It really scared me and I don’t think that it’s good for mothers to be scared if they don’t have to be. 

The third decision I made was that we were going to stay close to home. I had friends who traveled everywhere with their kids. Schlepped them on fifteen hour flights as newborns and took toddlers to third world countries all by themselves. I was not going to be doing any of that. The thought of bringing twin toddlers plus their big sister through an airport and onto an airplane to stay in a hotel, sounded like the equivalent of Chinese water torture. I know myself well enough to recognize that I’m just not a laid back enough mom to go with the flow as all three kids melt down on an airplane while they lick strangers armrests, eat nuts off the floor and piss themselves. 

So, I didn’t breastfeed the twins, I had lots of help when they were little and I’ve never taken them on an airplane. All great choices for us. 

This brings us to today. The twins are five and a half and big sister is 9. Tomorrow, I fly with them for the first time. It really feels like a milestone. These little children are actually real people now. They don’t scare the hell out of me anymore and I even feel confident enough to move about the country with them on an airplane for 5 hours! It’s magical and mysterious how time can go so slowly and so fast at the same time. That seems to be a theme here in the motherhood.

Happy Holidays, Safe Travels and Happy New Year!

xoxo
  

Nine Years In and All Is Well

6 Oct

I never thought these words would come out of my mouth…. Here I go….my children are growing up way too fast.

 It’s really starting to hit me, actually slap me in the face that my babies aren’t babies anymore. They aren’t even toddlers or preschoolers. They are school aged kids! The twins are 5 and a half and in Kindergarten and HB is 9 and in 4th grade. For me this is the sweet spot of motherhood. Some people adore babies. They say that they are so easy and sweet. I find babies to be complex and terrifying. The lack of communication scares the daylight savings out of me. When I have a newborn my inner dialog goes something like this twenty four seven “Are they cold, are they hot, are they hungry, are they sick, what time is it, where am I, is this phase over yet?!” The toddler years get better for me because at least they can scream and throw things at me to tell me what they want and need. Preschool years keep looking up as they go to school for a couple of hours a day and sleep is actually a consistent reality. 

Now, Kindergarten. I have to say that it is wonderful. All 3 kids can dress themselves, buckle into their own booster seats, and go to the bathroom on their own. They can sit through a movie in the theater, they can be left alone in the other room while I take a shower or make dinner most of the time. 

No diapers, no high hairs, no changes of clothes, no sippy cups, no blankies, no baby bjorns, no strollers. All of the gear has been traded off for bike helmets, soccer cleats, Barbie dolls, chapter books, and costumes. 

I’m loving this phase. Watching them play sports and perform in shows. Seeing them excel in school, make friends, and bond as siblings. This is the golden age of being a mom if you ask me. No two year old tantrums and no teenage angst. The problem is that just as the baby years are behind me, soon these years will be over too. I wish I could bottle them up just as they are and keep it this way forever. I suppose all I can do is try to drink in every moment I have with them. Hold their hands and cuddle them tight while they still let me. Savor the time that I have with them during these years. Because before I know it I will be writing a blog post about the trials and tribulations of having three teenagers and how I remember the good old days. Or maybe I will be whining and crying about how I lost my mind and had a fourth baby just when things were looking golden. One never really knows.

xoxo
  

Do Sharks Have Balls? 

30 Aug

It was a long Summer. Long. 

Although- I am happy to report that it was not as hard as last summer or the summer before or the one before that. I never thought I would say this, but, life is getting significantly easier. Trust me, I had my, “What the fu*k is wrong with you guys?” moments. But the frequency was so much less than it was before. 

I am proud to say that not only did the three children survive, but I did too! I can also report no broken bones, no stitches, no poison ivy and not one child was lost at an amusement park or museum, not even briefly. 

There was a solo trip for the kids and Daddy to Yosemite for 6 days – no sunburns, no emergency room trips and nobody attacked by wild animals. There was some vomiting, haunted hotels and bug bites, but what’s a proper road trip without those things?

There were the days that all three kids went to camp. Those were glorious days. Camp days are just the best. Handing your child over to an overly energetic college counselor who can’t wait to run around in the sun and entertain your kid, is the best feeling in the world.  Besides when the kids are all sleeping, that’s an awesome feeling too.

On days when my guilt kicked in and I figured I should remind the kiddos that the camp counselors aren’t actually their adoptive parents, we hit the beach. We had a beach groove and our own special spot on the sand near the Annenberg Beach House in Santa Monica. Our sunscreen routine was down to a science. Line up in the hallway in bathing suits youngest to oldest (one twin is 3 minutes older) and slowly rotate as I spray each of them. Then hand the sunscreen stick for their faces back and forth to each other in the car until everyone is covered. We conquered fears of seaweed, a phobia of peeing in the ocean, and even fear of sharks. My son (5) will proudly tell you that if a shark tries to eat his sisters he will kick him in the nuts. Solid plan little man. Of course this is coming from the kid who had to overcome his fear of seaweed first.

Summer of 2015. We owned you. No strollers. No diapers. No nap times. 

Fourth grade and Kindergarten (times 2) bring it on. We are ready for you. 

*Of course I would like to reserve the right to adjust my positive outlook once the kids all start acting like   little monsters again.

xoxo 
 

Perfect Is For Pussies

9 Jun

Here’s what I learned today – I am not perfect. 

I know, I know, you are shocked. I am too. I try very hard to get things right. I hate messing up. I hate disappointing people. I beyond despise looking like an idiot.

 I realized today that I am not and never ever will be perfect. I have quirks, bad habits, and annoying tendencies. In fact, there are going to be some people that simply don’t like me because of these things and that’s ok. It took me a long time to really get this concept, but I get it now. I have some amazing qualities about me that people will love and other features that will drive people nuts. It’s not my responsibility to make everyone like or love me. 

There are those who see me as I am, totally imperfectly perfect and embrace me completely. 

So, the next time someone drives you up a wall, remember, you can move along and let them be or accept them as the imperfect human being that they are. 

Because no matter how hard we all try, perfect ain’t happening. 

Unless you are Taylor Swift. She seems like she’s pretty damn perfect. 

xoxo
  

Fat. It’s Not A Sin Anymore.

28 May

The World’s First Size 22 Supermodel! That’s the headline on the cover of People magazine this week. The picture accompanying it is of Tess Holliday, a 29 year old model who also happens to be 5’5 and weigh 280 pounds. The typical model is about 5’10 and 120 pounds. Her face is what would be considered beautiful by conventional standards, a model’s face for sure. Her body wouldn’t usually even qualify her for plus size modeling. Most of the time plus size models aren’t even actually plus sized. They are approximately a size 10, which would be significantly less than Holliday’s size 22. To put this in perspective, the average American woman is a size 16-18. Although in Beverly Hills I am pretty sure it’s more like a size 2-4.

I grew up obsessed with fashion TV and magazines. Along with that obsession grew a fascination with models. From a very young age I could tell you the physical stats and personal basics about most models walking the runway in the 1990’s. Even in college my walls were plastered with pages from the magazines of high fashion looks I loved and the uber super models wearing them. I began to think that looking like them was an attainable goal.  Looking back on it now I realize that I had no clue that these women were born this way. Genetically predisposed to be six inches taller than the average woman, born with long thin necks, and given a symmetrical face that is pleasing to a camera. I wish someone would have clued me in to all this and it could have saved me quite a bit of grief in the body shaming and body acceptance department.

Maybe if there had been a beautiful woman on the cover of People magazine that was more than twice my size being called a supermodel, it would have made a difference. These days there are entire movements dedicated to body acceptance. Teaching girls and women to accept and even celebrate their bodies no matter what size or shape they are. There are plus size models on billboards and in major ad campaigns. Not only all this but now on any Disney show you will see the chubby girl, the kid with glasses and frizzy hair, the friend in a wheelchair, the neighbor with dyslexia, the divorced parents and even the super smart yet still attractive girl. 
I stopped buying fashion and tabloid magazines long ago. I had decided to stop feeding my obsession and stop supporting an industry that can be destructive in countless ways. Yesterday I bought 5 copies of this month’s People magazine with Tess Holliday on the cover. I want this month’s edition to sell out, I want the publishers, advertisers and my children to hear me. I wish I had seen a cover like this when I was 8 years old. 

At least I get to see it now.

xoxo

  

%d bloggers like this: