Tag Archives: Barbie

Oral Fixation – Them, Not Me!

11 Jun

Just when I thought I was out of the “they put everything in their mouth” danger zone, I am jolted back to reality.

The twins turned 3 in April and usually by this age the intense oral fixation has worn off. They slowly stop licking, biting, and chewing on everything that comes near them. Now, of course the oral fixation doesn’t disappear in all people and that’s a whole different topic and this isn’t that kind of blog.
Back to my story – I’ve started allowing smaller toys and objects in to my house which were previously banned. Growing up, my Mom instilled an intense fear of choking in all five of us children.
I knew better than to allow the deadly quarter sized bouncy ball and marker caps anywhere near my children. TR and HB are now old enough to play with Barbies together and who am I to deprive them of a tiny Barbie heel or a minuscule Barbie lipstick?

Well guess what?
I left the twins alone for two minutes today while I went to the bathroom (pee pee). Upon my return to the play room I found one of my worst case scenarios playing out right before my eyes.
TR (3) was standing on the couch with her mouth wide open, JH (3) was standing about two feet in front of her with a teeny tiny bouncy ball.
I hear JH say,

“That’s good, keep your mouth big open and I gonna throw the little ball in.”

It was a scene from a movie, a horror film. Everything was blurry from there….

I know I screamed, “Noooooooooo!!!!!!!” and I’m pretty sure I leapt through the air towards them. I intercepted the tiny choke ball and tried to calmly explain to the twins that we never NEVER never try to throw a small object into someone else’s mouth.
I have no idea how many attempts JH had made before I caught them.


Was this my fault? I mean, I had to pee…

I had never told them specifically not to do that. I have also never told them not to shove each other in the dryer. I have never told them not to hit the TV with a baseball bat. I have never told them not to climb out a window. I have never told them not to eat paper clips, staples or batteries.

That after almost seven years of being a Mother, I still can’t go to the bathroom in peace.
That 3 year old twins should never ever be left alone, even for a minute.
That I f**king hate those little plastic bouncy balls.



Somewhere between Cover Girl and Maybeline my heart broke

4 Apr

Today, as HB and I stood in the makeup aisle at Target, she said something to me that made me want to tuck her back inside my belly where I could protect her, forever. As I contemplated between Falsies mascara and the one that Gwen Stefani wears in all those commercials, my little girl was asking herself the question I hoped she never would. She looked up at me with her pigtails and big green eyes and said, “Mommy, will boys only like me if I’m straight?” Now, she didn’t mean straight like the opposite of Ellen Degeneres, she meant thin. HB had asked me before if when she grew up if she would be straight like her Auntie and the girls in the magazines or would her tummy stay round. I had explained a million times before that people come in all shapes and sizes. We had read the book, It’s Ok To Be Different, 500 times. I kept Barbie dolls out of the house for as long as I could and I even banned Princess Paraphernalia for the past two years. Where had I gone wrong and how could this be happening to my strong fierce 5 year old? I gained my composure and looked her right in the eyes and said, “Boys like all different types of girls. You are perfect. Just be yourself.” She shrugged her shoulders and said, “Ok.”

You are perfect, just be yourself. I’m sure somebody told me that when I was her age, but I don’t think I actually believed it until quite recently.

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