Tag Archives: beach

Do Sharks Have Balls? 

30 Aug

It was a long Summer. Long. 

Although- I am happy to report that it was not as hard as last summer or the summer before or the one before that. I never thought I would say this, but, life is getting significantly easier. Trust me, I had my, “What the fu*k is wrong with you guys?” moments. But the frequency was so much less than it was before. 

I am proud to say that not only did the three children survive, but I did too! I can also report no broken bones, no stitches, no poison ivy and not one child was lost at an amusement park or museum, not even briefly. 

There was a solo trip for the kids and Daddy to Yosemite for 6 days – no sunburns, no emergency room trips and nobody attacked by wild animals. There was some vomiting, haunted hotels and bug bites, but what’s a proper road trip without those things?

There were the days that all three kids went to camp. Those were glorious days. Camp days are just the best. Handing your child over to an overly energetic college counselor who can’t wait to run around in the sun and entertain your kid, is the best feeling in the world.  Besides when the kids are all sleeping, that’s an awesome feeling too.

On days when my guilt kicked in and I figured I should remind the kiddos that the camp counselors aren’t actually their adoptive parents, we hit the beach. We had a beach groove and our own special spot on the sand near the Annenberg Beach House in Santa Monica. Our sunscreen routine was down to a science. Line up in the hallway in bathing suits youngest to oldest (one twin is 3 minutes older) and slowly rotate as I spray each of them. Then hand the sunscreen stick for their faces back and forth to each other in the car until everyone is covered. We conquered fears of seaweed, a phobia of peeing in the ocean, and even fear of sharks. My son (5) will proudly tell you that if a shark tries to eat his sisters he will kick him in the nuts. Solid plan little man. Of course this is coming from the kid who had to overcome his fear of seaweed first.

Summer of 2015. We owned you. No strollers. No diapers. No nap times. 

Fourth grade and Kindergarten (times 2) bring it on. We are ready for you. 

*Of course I would like to reserve the right to adjust my positive outlook once the kids all start acting like   little monsters again.


No, You Can’t Convert Just To Skip Work Today.

5 Sep

Today is the Jewish holiday Rosh Hashanah. It’s the start of the new year according to the Jewish calendar. In honor of the new year, I came up with some things I want to accomplish.
In no particular order:

1. Read War and Peace – I must have been absent that semester in high school. Chances are I was absent that semester in College as well. My school attendance record isn’t exactly something to brag about. I feel like a cheap imitation of a real writer having never read that book. I will start from there, then read all the other classics that I skipped while I was doing much more important things in High School and College. Such as, sleeping and going to the beach.

2. Finally, finally, finally get my body into the shape that I want it to be in – I don’t need an insane emaciated 20 year old’s figure. I do want a toned, healthy and 10 pounds down hot Mommy body. I’ve come this far, it would be silly to quit now. All I have to remember is that there is a skin tight Herve Leger dress out there with my name on it.

3. Slow down when I read to my children – when book time comes around, during our bedtime routine, I am so wiped out and fried that I rush through the process. I just want the book done and the kids in bed. I’m missing it. I love children’s books, I remember being a child and thinking that I cannot wait to read these books to my children. Well, here I am, doing it and missing it.

4. Volunteer – I want to be involved again. I don’t volunteer anymore. It’s actually for a selfish reason that I want to volunteer. When I help others without being paid or asked to, I feel better about myself. I volunteered at the Museum of Tolerance for years before I had children. No matter what I did in a day, even if I accomplished nothing else, I knew I had done a little of something worthwhile.
Especially working at a Holocaust Museum, it helped to put things in perspective. I couldn’t wallow in self pity about a break up, when I had just spent the day teaching about the atrocities of The Holocaust.

5. Trust my gut – I know, I know, people say that all the time, trust your gut. I really and truly want to get on this gut bandwagon. I believe in it, it makes sense to me. Somewhere deep inside me I already know what I want and need. I would say I only trust that part of me about fifty percent of the time. I need to listen and trust myself ALL the time. I like to think that I have done a pretty good job thus far, there is no reason for me to give up on my instincts now.

Let’s start with these 5. I actually have a list of about 100 things I want to do this year, but nobody has time or the interest to read that list, not even my biggest fan (Dad).

So, if you see me eating Froyo, while reading an Instyle magazine, feel free to tap me on the shoulder and remind me that I’m supposed to be reading Tolstoy while running on a treadmill somewhere.

Happy New Year! L’Shana Tova!



Slightly Dirty and Oh So Pretty

28 Oct

The locals seem to pay a hell of a lot of money to look beautifully disheveled. Most of the women are in tank tops, sweats and Uggs or flip flops. The catch is, the sweats are $300 from Kitson Malibu, the Uggs are only but one pair of 15 winter booties, and the tank top is actually a $150 Theyskens Theory camisole. The look for the hair is a similar one, messy, windswept, sun- kissed, slightly dirty and oh so pretty all at once. These ladies spend mucho moolah to look as if they just rolled out of bed all glowy and gorgeous.
Malibu is a super wealthy beach town, but it’s different than the beach town where I grew up. It seems like there is a big divide between the people who actually surf and have bonfires and live the beach life and those who like to look at the beach from their balconies without getting sand in between their toes. I can feel the difference between the two worlds when I visit there.

It’s different out here in Beverly Hills. BH women like to look done. They spend a lot of money on their clothes, hair and faces and they want it to seem that way. We don’t usually do the frumpy beach look and if we do get caught looking ferklempt, we make sure to mention to everyone how frumpy we look and all the excuses why. The big divide in BH is between the locals and the tourists, that’s pretty much it. You can tell the difference between them quite easily. The locals don’t have cameras around their necks and we don’t take pictures of our own street signs.

Wealthy Southern California towns divided. As a serious storm rips through the east coast, these are the things I’m writing about. I never claimed to be a journalist. I’m a blogger ;)



You Can Take The Girl Out Of Newport…

11 Jun

Yesterday, my sister SG, my husband, and I took the kids to the beach in Santa Monica. I haven’t always been crazy about the beach. I grew up in a beach town and spent plenty of time in the water and sun. I had a few surfer boyfriends and I was even a Junior Lifeguard until I refused to jump off the pier, but that’s another story entirely. When I moved to Beverly Hills in 2000, I wasn’t familiar with the beaches here so I just kind of stayed away. Besides I was too busy exploring the wonderful nightlife that L.A. had to offer me to make it to the beach the next day.
Now, that Sunset Blvd. has lost it’s glimmer, I think that my Newport roots are starting to show. The twins are 2 and they understand that the sand is not a snack, I think it’s time to get back to the beach. A few things this I seem to have forgot since I’ve become a big city Mom:

1. NEVER ever turn your back on the waves unless your on a board (especially while holding more than one child)
2. Put sunscreen on BEFORE you hit the sand. Otherwise you get a whole lotta complaining from the littles.
3. Explain to your small children what seaweed is before they get wrapped up in it for the first time. TR thought she was being attacked by an ocean monster and refused to go back in.
4. When your kid gets the crap knocked out of him by a big wave, make him go back in at least one more time so that’s not his last memory of the ocean.
5. Have fun! Some of the best memories of my life are with my siblings on the beach at Big Corona. I hope I can do the same for my kids.


Do you have any other good beach tips?


Chef Boyardee – The Update (aka I’m a failure)

6 Jun

A few weeks back I wrote about my big plan to start cooking more often. (at all) Yesterday, I ran into my friend KM at Whole Foods. As she looked into my cart and saw all the pre-prepared food, she smiled and asked how the cooking was going. I was so beyond busted!
So here’s an update: It didn’t exactly pan out. My intentions were there, the plans in place, but the cooking never actually happened. In my mind I imagined that I would plan the meals for the entire week ahead of time. Then go to the market on Sunday, without any kids and get everything I needed for the week. When Sunday night rolled around I was so exhausted that I couldn’t even take a shower to get the sand out of my hair from the beach that day. It would have taken multiple red bulls and serious dedication to follow through with my big plan. I fell asleep that night with my clothes on in my 5 year old’s bed as I do on many a Sunday night. After an entire weekend with all 3 kids and no babysitter help, I am usually a shell of a person by bedtime on Sunday. It doesn’t look like my Sunday idea has a real shot at happening. Maybe, I just need a new approach? I am determined to figure out a way to make healthy, home cooked meals for my family without ignoring or neglecting my children or hating every minute of it. In the meantime, I am going to start playing the lottery in hopes of winning big and hiring a personal chef.


How many nights a week do you cook? Tell the truth…

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