Tag Archives: beverly hills

Poison Your Face To Celebrate!

8 Mar

The very first email I received today was from a well known Beverly Hills plastic surgery center down the street from me. They were offering me a 20% discount on Botox if I came in today. Why today? Because today is International Women’s Day. What better way to commemorate that then with a shot of poison in my face to make me look younger so that men find me more attractive. My gut reaction was to email them back with a raging rant about how it’s people like them that still make it so very necessary to even have an International Women’s Day. Yes, women have come a long long way. But, we are not nearly there yet.

I could probably write a dissertation on this topic, but I will start with the media for today…

Let’s take a look at the media attacks on girls and women. Starting as early as a girl is young enough to see, she is bombarded with images of “ugly” before pictures and “beautiful” after pictures on newsstands. She can tell by looks on the women’s faces on the magazines and billboards that they were miserable before they got fixed. They look so much happier after the boob job, lap band, liposuction, face lift, weight loss, and makeover. Before a female child can even read she is being brainwashed to see that prettier means happier. Of course, the male children are seeing all of this as well, and they are being taught the same message. That women are supposed to look a certain way and they should want to look that way. The thing is, this entire system is built to break girls down and make them beauty consumers before they are even old enough to realize it’s happened. By the time a girl gets to high school and is taught about feminism and or meets the cool aunt who tells her it’s okay to be smart and not pretty, it’s too late. The programming has been done already. 

What bothers me the most about the email offering the Botox his morning? Is probably the fact that I considered taking the offer. Despite my strong feminist views and all the deprogramming I have done over the past few years, I am still that girl. I still want to be thin, pretty and young. Part of me still believes the years and years of bullshit I’ve been fed. Old habits die hard. 

Today, on International Women’s Day, I will not put poison in my face to commemorate the day. Instead, I am writing this blog post. 



Back Stabbed In Beverly Hills

8 Nov

There are only a few times in my life that I have been betrayed.

It’s the reason that I am trusting and open. If you have ever met me, or read my blog you will know that I will tell you almost anything about myself.
I assume that every person I cross has the best intentions and a good heart. I have hurt people, I have let people down, pissed them off, disappointed them. I have never gone into a situation purposely to use and hurt a person.

When I began writing this blog I knew that the there would be critics. I expected there to be haters. I heard early on from family members and friends when they didn’t agree with the way I handled a situation or if they thought I did something wrong. I listened to them, thought about it and either applied the advice or disregarded accordingly. I cannot please everyone. No matter what I do, there will always be someone who thinks that I should parent differently,write differently, walk, talk and breath differently. I can’t please everyone, wish I could, but I can’t.
So, I write and I parent and live…

I knew one day might come when someone threw it all in my face.
Well folks, that day has come. An acquaintance in Beverly Hills, about my Mother’s age, has reminded me that there are bad people in the world. She pretended to be my friend and a fan of my blog. She gave me motherly advice and hugged me the last time we saw each other.
She then proceeded to use my blog as a way to frame me and my children in the most negative light that one would ever want to be portrayed in.

My point in writing this is not to get emails of support or outrage against this woman. I believe there is a special place in hell for women who betray other women. There must be an even more exclusive place for mothers who betray other mothers. My point in telling this story is to remind myself and others that not everyone is going to like what you do or what you say. Not everyone is going to be nice to you. You know what? That’s ok. We can’t crumble every time we face one of these people, because for every one naysayer there are twenty people who think you are absolutely fantastic.

For every guy who dumps you there are ten more around the corner.
For every job you lose a better opportunity awaits you.
For every parking space you miss a better one will come up another time.
For every hater there are one hundred supporters.

Everything happens for a reason, even a below the belt hitting Beverly Hills bitch. I just can’t see that reason right now ;)



Do Not Tell My Kid About Ebola – A Bubble Story

20 Oct

Yesterday, My oldest daughter HB who is 8, asked me where Dallas was and how long it would take someone to get here from there.

On average HB asks me about 50-100 questions a day and has been asking since she starting talking at 10 months old. Her first words were, “What’s this?” No joke. The kid didn’t start with Mama or Dada, she began speaking at 10 months old with “What’s this?”

So, I told her that Dallas was in the state of Texas and by plane it was about three hours away. “Oh good! I thought maybe Dallas was in California and that the deadly disease was coming here soon,”

Hold up. What did my 8 year old just say to me? Was she talking about Ebola? Who the hell had told her about it? Why do I ever let her leave my side? Why do I let her go to school? Why are there newspapers and news channels? Why do adults talk so loudly at the table next to us at Coffee Bean?!

“Honey, what exactly are you talking about?” I said to HB in my calmest mommy voice I have. She then proceeded to tell me that while out to breakfast that morning with her Dad and her little brother and sister, they had a conversation with the family at the table next to them. The man was a doctor and so was his wife and they had three kids, just like us, and they told Daddy all about the disease that had come to Dallas and was killing everybody. She said they talked about how there was no cure and that it was a horrible way to go.

This is why I am a control freak. Conversations like this is why I feel like I have to be involved in everything that they do. I know they can’t be raised in a bubble. I realize that they are being raised in a big city, Los Angeles, nonetheless. But, why on earth are adults discussing Ebola in front of my three kids all under 8 years old?! Don’t tell me that they were teaching them awareness, this is not a cold. We don’t need to tell them to wash their hands and cover their mouths when they sneeze. This is a terrifying epidemic that children don’t need to know anything about.

I didn’t go to breakfast with them that morning because I wanted to sleep in. While I slept my daughter learned all about Ebola. HB also told me that she shared this new information with her 7 year old best friend. Lord help me. Between the maxi pad commercials and the pre-teens making out on the street, I am being faced with a whole new reality. The strollers and diaper genies are a thing of the past, I am heading into totally new territory now and I think I just started to really feel it.



Range Rover, Range Rover, Send Audi Right Over!

23 Jul

Sometimes I wonder if my kids will be messed up because they are being raised in Beverly Hills. I go back and forth on the matter quite frequently.
If these three children are going to be f**ked up, I want it to be for a legitimate reason, not because they turned into spoiled 90210 brats.

When I picked up my (almost) 8 year old up from camp yesterday, I looked around the parking lot. It was as if Range Rover, Mercedes and Audi had decided to film a commercial for SUV’s there. There were even a few Maserati’s and a DeLorean in the mix. I imagined what this camp pick up parking lot must look like to a person visiting from Anytown, USA.
This isn’t even a fancy pants camp, it’s done through the Beverly Hills Parks and Recreation!
When I’m sitting on the grass with other BH families at a Little League Softball game, I feel like we are like any other town in California.
When I pick my daughter up at camp and she tells me that her friend’s Mom is on a TV show and I should really watch it sometime, I think maybe not so much.
Every city has it’s own issues and drawbacks as well as it’s advantages and perks. When deciding where to raise a family, there are tons of things to consider. Tons. I don’t know if any parent really knows if they made the right choice about where they should raise a family.
I know that so far, all seems to be well in Beverly Hills. Do I think it’s a little odd that tourists from Asian countries take pictures of my daughter and yell out, “Shirley Temple! Shirley Temple!” Yup, totally odd.
Do I think it’s interesting that my kids can hear a song on the radio and say, “Hey, that’s my friend’s Daddy!” And they think that’s totally normal? Yup, totally interesting.
My kids also know the name of our mailman, the UPS guy, our crossing guard, most of our police officers and the name of every dog on our street.
Do I think that’s awesome? Yup, I do.

It can be surreal living here sometimes, but, it’s our real and we like it.



If A Stranger Offers You Candy From A Bentley, They Are Still A Stranger.

17 Aug

Do kids just play outside anymore?

In Beverly Hills they don’t. Kids here are either inside playing Wii or are on their IPads. If they are outside, they are at The Park being followed closely by a parent or nanny. I can’t even remember the last time I drove down any street in Beverly Hills and saw kids playing football or tag.

I’m sure I could launch a very thorough study into this phenomenon and come up with some scientific answers, but I don’t have time for that, I have 3 kids and it’s Summer.
Here’s what I think is going on:

Technology- TV, computers, iPads, video games, cel phones and all the other tech stuff my kids know about that I’ve never even heard of.
When I was a kid all we had was Nintendo and the only game that anyone played was Super Mario Brothers. That didn’t keep us indoors all afternoon. You could only bump so many mushrooms and coins with your head before it got boring. If we had all this amazing stuff when I was a kid, I would have NEVER left the house.

Fear- As parents, raising kids in a city, we aren’t sure if it’s even safe to let them play outside. Yesterday, my 7 year old wanted to play out front with the little boy that lives two doors down. I just stood there after she asked me. I honestly had no idea if it was okay for her to play on the front lawn without my supervision. She has always been watched by someone. She knows not to wander, she knows not to talk to strangers, she’s with another friend, is it okay?
We pay top dollar to live in this neighborhood and I don’t even know if I feel safe having my kid play in the front yard.
Do strangers really scoop kids up from front lawns in BH? Am I supposed to sit at the front window and watch them? When did I stop feeling safe?

Activities- the children around here are scheduled for activities before they are even born. My daughter was signed up for Mommy and Me when I was 6 months pregnant. I had to, or I wouldn’t get a spot in the “best baby class.”
Trying to get together with other Moms and their kids is like scheduling a World Peace Conference. Between Ella, Bella and Stella’s dance, gymnastics and piano lessons and my kids early dinner and bath routine, you can kiss play dates goodbye.
Parents often ask me, what my kids DO. They don’t mean for a living, they mean as an activity. What do they “DO?” I usually have to use all my strength not to burst out laughing. My 3 year old son still poops in a pull up, what exactly did you have in mind for him?

City Life- I suspect that in out in the forests of Maine or the farms of Iowa, kids are playing outside. In the planned gated communities of the suburban world, I bet kids are riding bikes unsupervised. We are surrounded by aggressive drivers, traffic, and people rushing. It’s not exactly a perfect match for raising small kids. City living has tons of other perks, outside play just isn’t one of them.

There you have it. My thoughts on why kids don’t just play outside anymore.

What do I plan to do about it? I’m not sure yet. As most of you know, I’m a talker, discusser information gatherer. I will be looking into this, trying to figure out what needs to change, if anything at all. So, if a woman toting 3 children approaches you and asks you your thoughts on the state of kid-play in Beverly Hills, it’s just me, no need to panic.


As always, I love reading everyone’s comments and questions. Don’t be shy, I don’t usually bite.


%d bloggers like this: