Tag Archives: body image

Poison Your Face To Celebrate!

8 Mar

The very first email I received today was from a well known Beverly Hills plastic surgery center down the street from me. They were offering me a 20% discount on Botox if I came in today. Why today? Because today is International Women’s Day. What better way to commemorate that then with a shot of poison in my face to make me look younger so that men find me more attractive. My gut reaction was to email them back with a raging rant about how it’s people like them that still make it so very necessary to even have an International Women’s Day. Yes, women have come a long long way. But, we are not nearly there yet.

I could probably write a dissertation on this topic, but I will start with the media for today…

Let’s take a look at the media attacks on girls and women. Starting as early as a girl is young enough to see, she is bombarded with images of “ugly” before pictures and “beautiful” after pictures on newsstands. She can tell by looks on the women’s faces on the magazines and billboards that they were miserable before they got fixed. They look so much happier after the boob job, lap band, liposuction, face lift, weight loss, and makeover. Before a female child can even read she is being brainwashed to see that prettier means happier. Of course, the male children are seeing all of this as well, and they are being taught the same message. That women are supposed to look a certain way and they should want to look that way. The thing is, this entire system is built to break girls down and make them beauty consumers before they are even old enough to realize it’s happened. By the time a girl gets to high school and is taught about feminism and or meets the cool aunt who tells her it’s okay to be smart and not pretty, it’s too late. The programming has been done already. 

What bothers me the most about the email offering the Botox his morning? Is probably the fact that I considered taking the offer. Despite my strong feminist views and all the deprogramming I have done over the past few years, I am still that girl. I still want to be thin, pretty and young. Part of me still believes the years and years of bullshit I’ve been fed. Old habits die hard. 

Today, on International Women’s Day, I will not put poison in my face to commemorate the day. Instead, I am writing this blog post. 



My Ass, Her Ass, Kim’s Ass, Ridiculous Biznass

17 Nov

Yesterday I broke one of my iron clad rules and I reacted publicly about another woman’s body.

I internally debated for days on whether talking about Kim Kardashian’s bare behind on the cover of Paper magazine would be worth breaking my rule. I finally decided to share an article originally posted on TIME because it summed up part of what I was thinking about the whole dealio.

My gripe is, I have more to say about it.
The article I shared was truly fantastic. The author pointed out that there was no substance behind what she did by baring her greased up bottom on the cover of a magazine.

I’ve read countless opinions, rants, raves and straight up trashings over the whole thing. Here’s what I think in no particular order:

1. Did Kim Kardashian set back the feminist movement? I say, no way. Feminism is all about women having the right to say what they want to say, work where they want to work, wear what they want to wear, and so on and so forth. If this woman decides that she wants to exploit her butt in a sexual and degrading manner, that’s her choice. Now, here’s the tricky part… Whether consumers decide to support it is where the message lies. As long as we as consumers pay more attention to a photo shopped tush over a SATELITTE LANDING ON A COMET, then feminism still has a long way to go.

2. PHOTOSHOP. Are people not aware that all magazine photos are photoshopped? I thought this was old news brought to everyone’s attention years ago. Models and actors are photoshopped down to altering the size of their wrists and the angle of their ear canal. Models always comment that they don’t even recognize the person looking back at them in print ads. That picture is photoshopped, it’s not real, it’s an illusion, come on people, get with the program here!!!

3. Does posing nude make Kim Kardashian an unfit mother? I think that that question is even out there being asked proves that Men and Women are not seen as equals in the home or the workplace. If she was a man, would anyone have asked that question? I didn’t think so. Moving on…

4. Let’s take men out of the equation. How can we get women to stop being so obsessed with other women’s bodies? It is an absolute distraction and a waste of female brain time and power. To focus on Blake Lively’s “bump” or how quickly Eva Mendes shed the baby weight should be seen as equal to if not even more boring than discussing boiling water.
Here’s my suggestion: when you greet another girl or women, do not comment on her appearance. Ask a question, comment on her recent accomplishments, discuss the news. Once you realize just how hard it is to not greet another woman with, “I love your hair.” Or “You lost so much weight!” You will realize that Kim Kardashian isn’t really the problem here, we are.

I dare myself and all my readers to stop commenting about girls and women’s bodies. Think of all the things important we will get to talk about if we aren’t discussing weight loss, cellulite and wrinkles.



George Michael Tried To Make Me A Woman

16 May

One of my all time favorite songs is “Freedom” by George Michael. I remember the first time I heard the song and saw the video for it at the same time, it was life changing. Yes, seriously.

It was 1990, I only know that because it was right around the time of my Bat Mitzvah, I was thirteen years old. I had heard the song on the radio before and it had me at the very first opening guitar riff. The lyrics solidified the deal and the fact that the adorable George Michael was singing sweetened the package. Teenage girl radio blasting perfection.

Sometime soon after, I saw the video for “Freedom” on MTV. I was mesmerized, entranced, speechless. I had never seen and heard so much beauty in one place. There it was, this phenomenal song and these Amazonian women that I had been worshipping in the fashion magazines for the past few years. I watched Cindy Crawford caress her long silky limbs in the bathtub. I looked at Christy Turlington’s impeccable face and confident strut draped in nothing but a white sheet.
I actually remember thinking to myself, “Now, that’s what a woman is supposed to be like.”

It was the year that I was supposed to become a woman. I was no longer a child, I was a teenager. I knew that if that’s what a woman was supposed to be, then I was going to have some serious problems. It never once occurred to me that what makes a woman is what’s on the inside. What makes a girl transform into a woman is her brain and her actions. All I knew was that those women in that video were the what women were supposed to look like. That definition of femininity and womanhood stuck with me for years and years. I am sad to say that I am still beating that demon down at the door.

I spent that year learning Torah portions and practicing witty candle lighting honor speeches, that meant nothing to me. I spent hour upon hour searching for the perfect dresses and accessories for all the parties that would be held in my honor. The perfect menu, DJ, party favors and five tier cake was all hand picked. The service was meaningful for my family and the party was a success and fun for all who attended.

Over twenty years later and now a Mother of three, here’s my take away;
There were so many lost opportunities for the right people to step in and interrupt MTV and the magazines. I was lost in the media shuffle. I learned that I would never be good enough because I didn’t look like Linda Evangelista or Christy Turlington. I believed that every photo shopped image of every genetic jackpot winner should be my life goal. The magazines, the media and the images still exist. We even have the internet to contend with now. I am going to have to be louder. For my children, my voice and the images I provide for them of women will just have to be louder and bigger than those around them. For every billboard my kids see of a shiny naked woman on all fours hawking jeans, I am going to read them a book about Margaret Mead. For every magazine telling them how to get their body bikini ready, I am going to walk my Mommy hips from my lounge chair to the pool in front of my kids without flinching.

I still blast that song every time I hear it on the radio. It reminds me of how impressionable kids are, especially young girls. It also makes me realize how much these kids truly do need us as role models. After all, at Thirteen, I thought that George Michael and I were going to get married and live happily ever after one day.


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