Tag Archives: breastfeeding

Ready For Takeoff!

20 Dec

When I found out 6 years ago that I was pregnant with twins I was utterly shocked and over the moon ecstatic. It didn’t take that long for the reality to set in because I already had a 3 year old at home and I knew how hard being a mother was. I wasn’t heading blissfully into motherhood, I knew what was waiting for me… Times two.

So, I decided early on that I was going to have to do this my way because it was the only way I was going to survive having three children under 3 and a half. 

My first decision was that I would not be breastfeeding the twins. Not for a second. No debate. It wasn’t up for discussion. As a second time mother I had the confidence to make that choice and not second guess myself. I could have never had don’t that my first, I cared too much about what the experts, the other mothers, and everyone else thought about “what’s best” for my child.

The second decision I made was that I was going to need help. I was not going to be a martyr and try to tell everyone how I did it all alone day after day. I was very clear with my husband that we needed to do everything possible to make sure I was not going to be left alone to take care of all three children when they were little. It really scared me and I don’t think that it’s good for mothers to be scared if they don’t have to be. 

The third decision I made was that we were going to stay close to home. I had friends who traveled everywhere with their kids. Schlepped them on fifteen hour flights as newborns and took toddlers to third world countries all by themselves. I was not going to be doing any of that. The thought of bringing twin toddlers plus their big sister through an airport and onto an airplane to stay in a hotel, sounded like the equivalent of Chinese water torture. I know myself well enough to recognize that I’m just not a laid back enough mom to go with the flow as all three kids melt down on an airplane while they lick strangers armrests, eat nuts off the floor and piss themselves. 

So, I didn’t breastfeed the twins, I had lots of help when they were little and I’ve never taken them on an airplane. All great choices for us. 

This brings us to today. The twins are five and a half and big sister is 9. Tomorrow, I fly with them for the first time. It really feels like a milestone. These little children are actually real people now. They don’t scare the hell out of me anymore and I even feel confident enough to move about the country with them on an airplane for 5 hours! It’s magical and mysterious how time can go so slowly and so fast at the same time. That seems to be a theme here in the motherhood.

Happy Holidays, Safe Travels and Happy New Year!

xoxo
  

Your Kid, Your Business – Until Now

6 Feb

Guess what????

If you want to breastfeed your child until he or she is 6 years old that is really none of my business. Might it be a little awkward for me to try and explain to my children why a child older than them is being fed this way, the first time they see it. But, we would get through it, I would explain it the best I could and it would end with, “In this world every Mommy chooses what is best for her child and that Mommy chooses that, that’s all.”
If you want to wear your 30 pound 3 year old in a sling around your neck absolutely everywhere you go, more power to ya. If you want to send your 5 year old to year round boarding school in Switzerland, Godspeed. You can feed your kid only raw veggies that are grown from your garden on your farm or stuff them full of marshmallows and gummy bears. Not my kid, not my business.
Not my kid. Not my business. Unless, the choices you are making for your kid are endangering my kids.

If you decide that you are going to send your kid to school with
an AK-47 because your kid is highly trained in using it and needs it just in case something bad happens. We are gonna have a problem.

If your kid brings her poisonous rattlesnake to school in her backpack but swears it’s safe because it’s never hurt anyone before. We are gonna have a problem.

If you don’t vaccinate your children against completely preventable diseases that could kill your friends and neighbors, including my kids. We are gonna have a problem.

I believe strongly in letting every person be who they truly are at the essence of their being. Mothers and fathers have to do what feels right to them when raising their children. I know it’s scary being a parent, the choices are overwhelming and paralyzing. Co-sleeping, breastfeeding, potty learning methods, discipline, sign language, Montessori, Waldorf, Parochial, only child, lots of siblings, the list goes on and on…. All of these are your individual choice and totally none of my business.

I know we feel disconnected from what is happening in the rest of the world. As we drive our SUV’s to Coffee Bean, from soccer practice to school pick ups through out our busy days, it’s hard to remember how ugly life can be. Disease is ugly. Measles, Mumps and Rubella are terrifying and ugly. I beg you to do your research. Truly thorough research. These vaccines are not linked to autism. There simply is no credible proof. We need to snap out of our Facebook comas and become students once again and use our brains here. If you aren’t sure where your religion stands on the issue, check in with a religious leader. Just don’t do nothing.

xoxo

Below: Quotes from Melinda Gates and The UNICEF organization

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Breastfeeding the Future Architects of America

8 Mar

Everybody has an opinion. When I decided to put myself out there and start a blog I don’t think I realized how asinine some of those opinions would be.

There was the email from the woman yesterday who told me that his Chakra must be off center. Um, okay, I will look into that.
The other email that suggested that it’s because my husband and I don’t have the perfect relationship. It’s possible, we’ve considered that. The experts have told us that since we have a firm no fighting and a no “adult discussion in front of the kids” rule, his behavior is probably not caused by that.

There was also my favorite email of all, that suggested his tantrums were caused by the fact that he wasn’t breast fed. Well, his twin sister wasn’t breast fed either and I can count the number of temper tantrums she’s had on one hand. I did however breast feed my oldest daughter, is that why she’s such a spectacular speller?
You can kiss my ass lady.

Anyways,
Most of the feedback that I’ve received since my last post have been truly supportive and amazingly helpful. I am actually starting to believe that he is just having a rough spot and that once I figure out how to help him through this, all will be well.

I’ve been reminded by other Parents who had “difficult” Toddlers and Preschoolers, that I need to count my blessings. He has been thoroughly checked by medical professionals and he is not physically or mentally impaired in any major way.

I have had multiple Mothers of teenage boys and even Parents of grown Men tell me that they had years of hell with their tough little boys. They assured me that once they made it through the rough times it’s been smooth sailing ever since. I’m feeling much more optimistic today than I was last week.

This morning, my little 3 year old monster, I mean son, said to me from his car seat on the way to school
“I’m going to grow up and be just like Frank Gehry so I can build you your own Barbie Dream House.”

Sometimes, to get to pure sweetness and genius you have to sort through the weeds and fog.

xoxo

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