Tag Archives: doctor

Childbirth – Sometimes drugs are the only answer.

29 May

I had dinner last week with two women who are a few years younger than I am, both single and without kids. After a couple drinks the woman who I had just met that night through my other friend looked at me point blank and confessed, “My biggest fear in life is childbirth, how did you do it three times?!?!”

It’s funny, before I had children I remember being terrified of childbirth too. The thought of being out of control and without the ability to turn back. The concept that once I was pregnant the only way to get that baby out was to deliver it, horrified me. Today, as a woman who has delivered 3 children, I can honestly say it wasn’t that bad. I would also like to say, why the hell didn’t anyone tell me that it wasn’t going to be that bad?!

For those of you that read my blog and have not had kids yet, I would like to take this opportunity to ease your mind so listen up:

If you get an epidural to help with the pain during childbirth, it doesn’t hurt that bad!

It’s uncomfortable, exhausting, frustrating and at times annoying. Having Velcro monitors wrapped around your enormous swollen itchy belly that beep every time your move, is not fun. Having people stick things in your vagina while a 7 pound object is trying to descend out of said vagina, also not fun. Having your family squeeze clown car style into a hospital room just to stare at the freak show you have become, totally not fun. But, I promise you none of this is excruciating or horrifically painful.

Now, all that being said, if you choose to be a much braver person than I am and forego the epidural then you are on your own girlfriend. All I know is that with my first I tried to go as long as I could without getting one. They told me in birthing class that I should try to see how far I can go naturally. By the time I caved in and the anesthesiologist was paged, I was hunched over sobbing, muttering over and over, “Why isn’t he coming? What if he never comes? Why isn’t he here yet? Why is he doing this to me? Why isn’t he coming?” he finally arrived and I’m pretty sure that I told him that he as the love of my life. At that moment, he really was.

By the time I arrived at the hospital to deliver my second and third children, the scenario was a little bit different. We parked, I checked in, and I immediately requested my epidural and any and all allowed drugs.

So what’s the moral of the story? Don’t be scared to have kids because of giving birth. I assure you that everything that happens after you bring the baby home is much more terrifying.

Those of you that disagree with me – feel free to pipe in in the comments section. Those of you that gave birth in your backyard in a blow up pool and think I am evil for promoting the use of a hospital and drugs during labor, I look forward to reading your emails privately later this evening.



If They Aren’t Screaming Then They Aren’t Breathing.

29 Jun

Yesterday we almost had our first trip to the Emergency Room. My 2 year old, TR and her twin brother woke up from their naps as usual, except TR wasn’t talking. This kid is always talking and if she’s not talking she’s screaming. I knew she had a cold but it was nothing out of the ordinary, just a runny gunky nose. Then, at lunch she wouldn’t eat. This girl is always eating. Even though she barely registers on the growth chart, the kid can eat. After lunch she seemed fine until I started paying attention to her breathing. She was struggling to breath. Every inhale was short and deliberate.
Of course she wasn’t talking or eating! She was having serious trouble breathing! I grabbed her and ran to the car. I figured I would head for the ER and call the Pediatrician on the way. Thank GOD my nanny was there so I didn’t have to take all 3 with me. As I ran out the door big sister HB casually says to me, I really hope she doesn’t die. I thought, yah, me too.
When I got the doctor’s office on the line they said to just come straight to them. We only live about 5 minutes away from there. Let me tell you, it was the longest drive of my life. I kept looking back at my baby girl as she started to nod off. This cannot be happening!
We finally arrived and I felt a sense of relief as we walked through the door. She was checked quickly and hooked up to a breathing machine with medicine to help her breath.
She was having an asthma attack. Apparently kids can have an attack brought on by a simple cold. It could happen again or it may never happen again. It’s just a wait and see type of situation – every parents worst kind of situation is the let’s just wait and see kind.
Little TR is doing fine now and is proud of the Barney sticker they gave her. I’m fine too. I might start getting grey hair any second and I might need to start taking Xanax on a regular basis, but I’m fine.


P.S. do you tend to freak out in these situations? Or do you remain calm?


Denial and Avoidance, Works For Me!

23 May

I think surviving Motherhood takes a certain amount of denial and avoidance. Last night was a prime example of how I deny and avoid when it comes to my children. My friend M.O. was over visiting the kids and I when she looked at TR’s foot and said, “What is up with the bottom T’s foot?” I looked at her foot and lo and behold she had what appeared to be multiple thorns and or splinters of some kind in her tiny little mini foot. What was my reaction? Did I say let’s get her to a Doctor immediately, let’s call my husband for back-up, let’s help this poor child?! My first reaction was, “She’ll be fine I’m sure it’s just another ouchie, ok, bath time!” My friend M.O. who doesn’t have any children of her own yet had to look me in the eyes and give me a What The F—  look and straight up said to me, “Your two year old has a foreign object in her skin it’s going to get infected if you don’t do something right now.” Yup, another mother of the year moment for Leslie. All I was thinking was these kids need to finish dinner, get a bath, get in their pajamas, drink their milk, brush their teeth, read stories, and be put down. I didn’t have time tonight for a strange object lodged in my baby’s foot that could become a festering wound.

Within 20 minutes M.O.’s Dad, the Mitzvah Man himself, Dr. Orwasher, a well known Beverly Hills Podiatrist, was knocking at my front door to inspect TR’s foot. My girl promptly sat down right in front of Dr. Orwasher before he could even make it all the way in the front door, ripped off her socks and said to him, OUCHIE. After a quick exam in my playroom it was confirmed that we had to head into the office so Dr. O could remove whatever was in T.R’s foot. At this point I had a flashback of  the day before- I saw her coming from the backyard barefoot, where we have thorns, wood chips and other dreadful things which coincidentally is all being removed this week. I immediately put her shoes back on when I saw her bare feet, but I didn’t check to see if her feet were okay. So here we were at 7pm sitting in Dr.O’s office distracting TR with my IPhone while the Doc worked his magic with a smile on his face and the patience of a Saint. She didn’t cry, not even a peep, all she said after 20 minutes of sitting nicely while having needles poked into her foot was, “All done Missa’s Daddy?”

If left up to me, she would have been sleeping in her crib with thorns in her feet and probably limping before I noticed anything was remotely wrong. Denial and avoidance, it gets me through because some of this parenting stuff is just way too scary to face head on.


Should my Mother of The Year Award be revoked? I dare you to comment and say yes…


What do you mean we don’t get the pink stuff?!

25 Apr

After handing him the fifth unacceptable sippy cup of the morning, I decided that something must be physically wrong with my 2 year old son JH. The tantrums and endless grunting demands have become painful for me. I’m assuming they have become equally daunting for my neighbors and fellow park-goers. Something must really be bothering him to cause him to act like the exorcist. I decided it must be the ears. The twins are prone to ear infections, so even though he showed no signs of ear pulling or a snotty nose, he MUST have an ear infection. A super bad double one. We showed up at our appointment and we weren’t seeing our usual doctor, we had another doctor in the practice who is the mother of toddler twins. The second she walked into the room it was as if total clarity overcame me. I knew what was about to happen.

“So, the nurse told me he has no physical symptoms, is that right?” I nodded. “You brought him in for tantrums and refusing to sleep, is that right?” I nodded. I decided to just lay it all out there: “I need you to find something physically wrong with him that is treatable with medication. I cannot take another year of this.” We smiled at each other as only mothers of 2 year olds do. She checked the first ear… All clear. I assured her that it would be the next ear that was horribly infected… All clear. Check his teeth, it might be his molars, YES, check his teeth. Nothing. She felt his tummy, listened to his lungs and checked all his extremities. “What you have here is a perfectly healthy 2 year old.” She smirked. “Check him again.” I begged.

It’s official, we have entered the Terrible Twos! I even have a Doctor’s bill to prove it. In the elevator on the way down he threw himself on the ground because I wouldn’t let him hit the alarm button. I explained to everyone in the elevator that we had just come from the Doctor’s office, terrible ear infection.


Let me know I’m not alone!

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