Tag Archives: Halloween

Chocolate Is Cheaper Than Cocaine – Addicted

3 Nov



I found the Halloween candy.

Every year as soon as the trick or treating is done and the kids are asleep, I eat a few pieces and then the rest of the candy gets hidden from me by their Dad. Is that really necessary, to have some little chocolate bars and M&M’s stashed away from me like I’m a child? Totally.

I don’t keep any cookies, candy, or chocolate of any kind in my house. I simply can’t be trusted alone in a house with any type of baked good containing chocolate or chocolate candy. I don’t know moderation.
Advising me to eat one tiny piece of chocolate is like putting $100 in a compulsive gambler’s hand, dropping him off at a casino and telling him to only use $5.

Everything would have gone smoothly this year if Halloween wouldn’t have been on a Friday. It being on a Friday meant that I was left home all weekend knowing the candy was lurking somewhere in the house. Teasing me, taunting me, calling my name. I did such an amazing job resisting temptation until Sunday night. Out of the corner of my eye I saw an Elsa themed trick or treat bag shoved in the top of the hall closet, I knew it was all over.
Within minutes of everyone going to sleep I was 5 pieces deep with no signs of slowing.

I tried to talk to myself, “Think of your jeans, they won’t fit if you keep this up.” Nope, kept going.
“This is so unhealthy, awful for your metabolism, bad for your brain.” Nope, moved on to the Snickers.

Finally, finally, I had had enough. I guess that’s the way addiction works. You want what you want when you want it until you don’t want it anymore, and then you wait until you want it again.

As I sat back and looked at all the wrappers I imagined what the kids would say if they walked in and saw them. All my speeches about sugar in moderation and how your body is a precious machine not a trash can. Meanwhile, Mommy had just become a burial ground for every mini twix, snickers and crap candy bar within a mile of the house.

Here’s my take away:

1.Everybody has a weakness, distraction or an addiction. Mine is sugar. Therefore, Halloween is not my friend. I need to come up with a better plan before next year.

2. Children do the things you do, not the things you say you do.
I can preach all I want about healthy eating to my kids, but I need to make sure they see me doing it.

3. I’m going to research an addiction such as sewing or card counting, because then at least I will be able to make myself useful instead of just diabetic.



Mommy, why are you wearing your bathing suit trick or treating?

6 Apr

This post might be seasonally challenged but I’m going for it anyways. If my kid can tell me what she wants for her birthday 11 months in advance then I can rant about Halloween in April.

Why is it that all Halloween costumes for adult Women are some variation of nakedness? When I was single and childless it didn’t really bother me that my options were between whorey witch, masked peacock or bustier bunny. Now that I celebrate this family holiday surrounded by small children and married men, I would like a G rated costume thank you very much. I had to go to three different places this year to try and find attire that didn’t scream, “it’s my one day a year to look totally inappropriate!” I settled on a crushed velvet Eskimo dress complete with a matching costume for little HB. It was either that or a clown costume complete with ginormous red shoes. Really, costume makers of America?! That’s what it comes down to? Either I bare some T and A while begging door to door for skittles or I’m a clown?


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