Tag Archives: museum of tolerance

No, You Can’t Convert Just To Skip Work Today.

5 Sep

Today is the Jewish holiday Rosh Hashanah. It’s the start of the new year according to the Jewish calendar. In honor of the new year, I came up with some things I want to accomplish.
In no particular order:

1. Read War and Peace – I must have been absent that semester in high school. Chances are I was absent that semester in College as well. My school attendance record isn’t exactly something to brag about. I feel like a cheap imitation of a real writer having never read that book. I will start from there, then read all the other classics that I skipped while I was doing much more important things in High School and College. Such as, sleeping and going to the beach.

2. Finally, finally, finally get my body into the shape that I want it to be in – I don’t need an insane emaciated 20 year old’s figure. I do want a toned, healthy and 10 pounds down hot Mommy body. I’ve come this far, it would be silly to quit now. All I have to remember is that there is a skin tight Herve Leger dress out there with my name on it.

3. Slow down when I read to my children – when book time comes around, during our bedtime routine, I am so wiped out and fried that I rush through the process. I just want the book done and the kids in bed. I’m missing it. I love children’s books, I remember being a child and thinking that I cannot wait to read these books to my children. Well, here I am, doing it and missing it.

4. Volunteer – I want to be involved again. I don’t volunteer anymore. It’s actually for a selfish reason that I want to volunteer. When I help others without being paid or asked to, I feel better about myself. I volunteered at the Museum of Tolerance for years before I had children. No matter what I did in a day, even if I accomplished nothing else, I knew I had done a little of something worthwhile.
Especially working at a Holocaust Museum, it helped to put things in perspective. I couldn’t wallow in self pity about a break up, when I had just spent the day teaching about the atrocities of The Holocaust.

5. Trust my gut – I know, I know, people say that all the time, trust your gut. I really and truly want to get on this gut bandwagon. I believe in it, it makes sense to me. Somewhere deep inside me I already know what I want and need. I would say I only trust that part of me about fifty percent of the time. I need to listen and trust myself ALL the time. I like to think that I have done a pretty good job thus far, there is no reason for me to give up on my instincts now.

Let’s start with these 5. I actually have a list of about 100 things I want to do this year, but nobody has time or the interest to read that list, not even my biggest fan (Dad).

So, if you see me eating Froyo, while reading an Instyle magazine, feel free to tap me on the shoulder and remind me that I’m supposed to be reading Tolstoy while running on a treadmill somewhere.

Happy New Year! L’Shana Tova!

xoxo

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When Mel Gibson shows up, it’s time to go home.

20 May

I hereby swear to abstain from over consumption of alcohol for the rest of eternity. I went out last night with the single ladies and let’s just say this very married Mommy can’t party like she used to.  I’ve been out of the scene for so long that I forgot the rules. Like, always eat something before drinking. Or to drink a glass of water to match every cocktail you consume. The one about not mixing types of alcohol, forget about it. Unfortunately, I didn’t play by the rules last night and now I am paying the price.

It had been a rough day with the kids, TR had dumped yet another Horizon milk box on her head in the Coffee Bean and then had a hissy fit when I wouldn’t buy her a new one. Does this kid think I’m a moron? You just sprayed three dollars worth of milk into your eyes and and all over your clothes in a matter of seconds and you want me to stage a repeat?  JH Houdini’ed from his stroller and was two seconds from heading into traffic on Beverly Drive before I even noticed he had escaped. I thought tourists were going to take my picture so they could show people back home just how terrible the parents in Beverly Hills are.

I just wanted to be out somewhere where strollers and sippys were unwelcome. I needed to be out of this house, away from these kids and wearing a shirt that said Dry Clean Only. I love my kids, I live for my kids, I obsess over my kids and about once I need to forget that I have them. The night started out innocently enough, a glass of wine at a friend’s house and some girl talk, ahhh this is nice. Then we headed over to BOA on Sunset, the fact that it’s on Sunset Blvd should have been my first clue to not go there. There should be a uterus check before you enter The Sunset Strip, and if you’ve had kids you should not be allowed up there past 10pm. Nothing good happens on Sunset after 10pm, ever, except  maybe some weddings at The Beverly Hills Hotel. I settled into my swanky love seat by the fire pit and the drinks just kept coming. To put all this in perspective, my husband and I are pretty much teetotalers. We will maybe have a cocktail on date night once a month but that’s about it. So you can imagine where my alcohol tolerance lies compared to my wild and free friend. I can say at this point in the night I had lost track of my drink total and I forgot to order myself Dinner, yes I swear I have a College Degree. The night concluded with an odd encounter with Mel Gibson where I’m pretty sure I invited him for a tour of The Museum of Tolerance, but that’s a different story.  At 2am I found myself on the bathroom floor thanking GOD that the floor was tile and not carpet because wow it felt good. I learned my lesson, and I will be staying in for awhile.

Why has this upstanding moral Mother of 3 shared her story of drunken stupidity with you? As a teaching guide:

1. Always eat before you drink.

2. My Dad was right when he said that Midnight is a good curfew for everyone.

3. Just because I had a rough day with the kids doesn’t mean I need to go all Tara Reid and everything.

4. Sky High Heels feel like hush puppies when you’ve had a few too many.

5. just because you can’t taste the vodka doesn’t mean it’s not in there.

6. Morning sickness and a hangover feel almost identical, except with morning sickness you get a human when it’s over.

7. Meditation and Yoga is the new Red Bull and Vodka.

xoxo

Thoughts? Comments? Should I have told you this? Are you judging me?

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