Tag Archives: pediatrician

Raging Lunatic Has Been Ruled Out – Thank Goodness for Small Favors.

1 Mar

I know in the end everything will be okay.
At this very moment, it really doesn’t feel like it.

I have been through tough times in my own life before. I have felt helpless and hopeless and utterly alone.

These feelings I’m having now, the guilt, the sadness, the heartbreak are something different and greater than the weepy woes of my past. This is my child we are dealing with. As much as I joke and bitch and moan, and then joke and bitch some more – I would do just about anything to make my children feel safe and loved.

Something is going on with my son.

I’m not exactly sure what it is yet, but it’s something.
In the beginning I thought he was just a boy being a boy. I was used to the way my very mature daughter had acted at 3 years old. His older sister was having conversations at his age that rivaled those that I had with most adults.

I would like to think that once I realized his outbursts, rage and tantrums were beyond that of an average kid his age, I acted quickly. I don’t think I acted quickly enough. His teachers assured me that he was doing fine in Preschool and I decided to go with the “boys will be boys” old adage.

Flash forward: less than a year later, we are in deep. For every email and comment I will receive after I publish this recommending a book and a sticker chart to help me, I will show you ten that haven’t worked.

I have had him physically checked repeatedly. I have begged the Pediatrician to find an infected ear more than once. At least if he was in physical pain and that was causing the behavioral issues, we could treat it.

He is nearing the end of his evaluation by the school district. The School Psychologist called to tell me, unofficially, that it doesn’t look like they are going to find anything that they can help me with. He is clearly not Autistic or going to qualify for any kind of assistance through the school district. On one hand, I am relieved beyond belief. On the flip side, what now???
In fact, when she observed him in her office and in his class, he was very bright, and eager to please. After both of her observation days he went on tirades of mega proportions. He can hold it together for a certain amount of time and the BOOM!

I have met with two Therapists multiple times and I still have no solid answers or solutions.
I have spent hours upon hours online and on the phone trying to find someone to help us. It turns out there is a major void in the system. If you have a child who is Autistic or has a clearly defined special need, there are many wonderful places and doctors in Los Angeles to help your child. If you have Medi-Cal or qualify as low income there are fantastic centers that offer every kind of assistance you could imagine.

If your child is over the age of seven, a Child Psychiatrist, can help you. My child isn’t even Four yet.

There are also Developmental Pediatricians, and they sound like exactly what we need. I called yesterday to make an appointment on recommendation from my Pediatrician. The earliest appointment is APRIL, they don’t take any insurance, visit cost is $650-$850 and an average of 3-4 visits to assess child. I better get my ass in shape in case I have to start pole dancing to pay for all this. OMG.

I have two good leads to chase this upcoming week. I can feel my first grey hairs growing in as I dial every number and I’m told that they can’t help me.

Did I mention that he has a twin sister and an older sister? For every well meaning person that tells me, “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” I can feel the grey hairs growing in even faster. This ain’t my first time at the rodeo Thank you very much.

Grateful for the little moments of peace. Beyond grateful that most of the professionals so far have said that this is something he will eventually mature out of, some kids have a rougher time through the Preschool years they say.
Thankful for my family, friends and Xanax.
Most of all, thankful for my children.

I know, in the end, everything will be okay, it always is.



The Door Handle From Hell aka Why I Locked The Twins In Their Room

12 Nov

I would guess that from exteriors only I seem like the slightly princess-ey type. I love fashion, all things girly, and I would never say no to a spa day.
I also secretly consider myself pretty handy. I have assembled, disassembled and fixed quite a few things in my time. I don’t read directions, I just fiddle with whatever it is until I figure it out. I’m not talking major things here. I don’t do electrical, I don’t do plumbing and I don’t do anything involving getting on a roof. I have rarely come across something I can’t fix or put together while my husband is at work. All except, this frickin’ door handle.
After consulting the Pediatrician I decided that the only way to keep the twins in their room at night was to lock their door. Dr. C, who I would trust with my life, assured me that it would not permanently damage the kids to lock the door to prevent that from coming into my room at all hours of the night. I had tried everything else for the past month since moving them to toddler beds and nothing was helping. No bribe, no explanation, no amount of imaginary monster spray was going to keep them in those beds. So it was time to lock them in. I know it sounds awful, but like I said, it was my last resort and it had to be done.
I went to the hardware store and told the sales guy with the multiple odd piercings that I needed to bolt my kids into their room from the outside in. He didn’t bat an eyelash. Must be more common than I think. He explained to me that my best bet was to just change the door handle to the kind that locks because of an array of reasons. He assured me that I would be able to do it myself no problem and that I could call him on his cell if I had any questions. Great.
My project started out just fine, I removed the original door handle no problem. Then things started going South, quickly. The screws didn’t seem long enough and the holes weren’t matching up and everything just seem slightly cock-eyed. I managed to get the handle on, but I knew I had done a crappy job. When Auntie Stacey tried it out, she opened the door after I had locked it, with a little push. Just shoot me.
But the real test was when the twins tried the door, they couldn’t get out! I did it, it worked! I was proud. Even took a picture of my job well done.
The next two weeks were beautiful. It only took one night for them to realize that they weren’t getting out and they didn’t even try again. Until last night…..
At 2am I felt something tickling my cheek in the darkness. I jumped up, screamed and there was Jacob. “Hi Mommy, my door no locked, I come sleep with you now?”
The lock is busted, the door handle is a failure. I blew it. The twins are free, I am sleep deprived. Again.
I guess I am not so handy. In search of a handyman or handywoman ASAP.


Are you handy? Do you happen to know how to install a door handle? I want to know :)


Excuse me, is my baby supposed to be blue?

10 May

I was the poster child for Attachment Parenting before I had my children. When I was pregnant with my oldest daughter I read the famous book The Breastfeeding Book by Dr. William Sears from cover to cover, over and over. Everything he said made perfect sense to me. His theories felt like home and I was going to do exactly what the book told me to do with my sparkly pink baby girl when she popped out. What I didn’t anticipate was that, as I sat alone to nurse my angel for the very first time, she would stop breathing and turn the color of a freezer pack. This was supposed to be my big entrance into the land of warm breast milk and love. How could this be happening?! I looked up at the nurse that had walked into the room and casually said, “I think my baby is blue.”

The next day was a blur of the NICU at Cedars Sinai and nurses coming into my room asking where the baby was, and me bursting into tears. She was poked and prodded and I stayed up all night calling the nurses every hour asking if she was still alive. It turned out that HB had a common issue that newborns sometimes experience where it takes a little while for them to get the hang of eating and breathing simultaneously. Soon after, she figured it out and was returned to me. Unfortunately, the damage had been done. She was healthy and ready to breastfeed, I however was not. All I knew was that the last time I tried to take things into my own hands, she stopped breathing and I was left alone in a room while my baby got rushed away with my husband in tow. I took her home and tried to continue with my perfect plan. I wrapped her up in my Maya, Moby and New Native slings even though she wailed endlessly. I nursed her for hours on end even though she was not gaining weight and I was slipping deeper into the hands of sleep deprivation. I did not want to let go of my dream of being the mother that Dr. Sears and La Leche League wanted me to be.

It wasn’t until HB’s 6 month check-up, when her Pediatrician finally had the balls to say to me “Leslie, you’re a mess. I think you have Postpartum depression and HB is not getting enough food. It’s time to stop breast feeding,” that I realized what was happening. HB and I were both beyond miserable with the way things were going. She had acid reflux and my elimination diet wasn’t working and she spent most days vomiting up my breast milk. I had PPD and was hating almost every single second of motherhood. I needed to hear it from my Pediatrician that it was okay to let go of the Mother I thought I would be and become the Mother that I am.

It took time for me to fully realize and recover from what had happened and to have the guts to have more children. One thing I was sure of was that this time I was going to do what felt right to me. Even though something makes perfect sense in a book, it may not be right for us if my children and I are not happy. Did I end up breastfeeding the twins? That’s another blog post entirely…

Every Mother has to find what is right for her and her children. When I see a Mother breastfeeding her child while wearing the baby in a sling, I always smile because I get it and I believe in it, it just didn’t work for me. If that Mom wanted to breastfeed her 4 year old while standing on her head and wearing high heels, that works for me too, as long as they are healthy and happy.

Today’s post is inspired by my friend and fellow blogger Jamie Lynne who is featured on the cover of this week’s TIME magazine!

Go Jamie!


Did you breastfeed your kids? Do you judge me for quitting after 6 months? Comment and let me know!

What the hell is a virus anyways?!

9 May

If I were my child’s Pediatrician I would be wondering why I went to medical school. I would be thinking that I should have skipped the gazillion years of studying, tests and residency and gone to hand-holding school instead. Maybe when you become a Pediatrician they warn you that 75 percent of the kids you are going to see are just fine… the Mothers, not so much.

I am madly in love – no exaggeration – with all the doctors at the practice where my kids go. Not because they have diagnosed mysterious illnesses or comforted my child when I couldn’t. I have a crush on my Pediatrician and her colleagues because of the way they handle me. I just took J.H. in for his second sick exam in two weeks and once again there is nothing officially wrong with him. I can’t tell you how many times I have done this with each of my three children. I spoke to the Doctor on the phone last night and she assured me that his fever is part of a fever virus that is sweeping through the children of Beverly Hills. She told me to wait 48 hours and see how he feels then.

Instead of following directions, there I was this morning back on the “sick” side of the practice praying J.H. wouldn’t pick up any new illnesses while waiting there. Yet again, I was assured by the ever patient saint of a doctor that my son would be fine, he just had a virus. She patted me on the back and gave me a compassionate smile. She could have just as easily said, “Lady, I told you on the phone last night he has a virus, what part of V-I-R-U-S didn’t you understand?” I know I’m not the only one because I’m having the same discussion with my friends over and over again. Should we take the kid in? Wait it out? What the hell is a virus anyways?!

It’s the constant debate in my head and it goes a little something like this: child is not pulling ears or vomiting. That one time it was the ears and he/she never touched the ears at all. Although child didn’t eat like he/she usually does. He/she did have a fever for half a minute 48 hours ago, could be the ears. It’s not the ears they were just checked last week. I’m sure it’s a virus. I’ll wait another day and then take the child in. What if by then it’s life threatening and we end up in the E.R?  Maybe he/she is teething/molars/allergies/lice/exotic disease from cousin who went to Peru. We better go to the doctor just to make sure.

We got a bill from the Pediatrician’s office last year for the new $150 yearly convenience fee that the practice will be charging per child. I totally get it now. It’s not a convenience fee, it’s a hand-holding fee. It’s a “I went to medical school to assure Westside Moms that their coughing children aren’t dying” fee.

I’ll happily pay it, because they are nice to me. They reassure me and they never laugh at me when I call yet again with a teething child that “must be examined immediately!”


Cough, cough, panic


Do you ever have the “to take them in or wait it out” debate with yourself?

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