Tag Archives: sleep

Do Not Tell My Kid About Ebola – A Bubble Story

20 Oct

Yesterday, My oldest daughter HB who is 8, asked me where Dallas was and how long it would take someone to get here from there.

On average HB asks me about 50-100 questions a day and has been asking since she starting talking at 10 months old. Her first words were, “What’s this?” No joke. The kid didn’t start with Mama or Dada, she began speaking at 10 months old with “What’s this?”

So, I told her that Dallas was in the state of Texas and by plane it was about three hours away. “Oh good! I thought maybe Dallas was in California and that the deadly disease was coming here soon,”

Hold up. What did my 8 year old just say to me? Was she talking about Ebola? Who the hell had told her about it? Why do I ever let her leave my side? Why do I let her go to school? Why are there newspapers and news channels? Why do adults talk so loudly at the table next to us at Coffee Bean?!

“Honey, what exactly are you talking about?” I said to HB in my calmest mommy voice I have. She then proceeded to tell me that while out to breakfast that morning with her Dad and her little brother and sister, they had a conversation with the family at the table next to them. The man was a doctor and so was his wife and they had three kids, just like us, and they told Daddy all about the disease that had come to Dallas and was killing everybody. She said they talked about how there was no cure and that it was a horrible way to go.

This is why I am a control freak. Conversations like this is why I feel like I have to be involved in everything that they do. I know they can’t be raised in a bubble. I realize that they are being raised in a big city, Los Angeles, nonetheless. But, why on earth are adults discussing Ebola in front of my three kids all under 8 years old?! Don’t tell me that they were teaching them awareness, this is not a cold. We don’t need to tell them to wash their hands and cover their mouths when they sneeze. This is a terrifying epidemic that children don’t need to know anything about.

I didn’t go to breakfast with them that morning because I wanted to sleep in. While I slept my daughter learned all about Ebola. HB also told me that she shared this new information with her 7 year old best friend. Lord help me. Between the maxi pad commercials and the pre-teens making out on the street, I am being faced with a whole new reality. The strollers and diaper genies are a thing of the past, I am heading into totally new territory now and I think I just started to really feel it.



Wiping Asses For 7 years – I Should Be Getting The Gifts and Goody Bags.

10 Aug

Today is HB’s 7th Birthday. The anniversary of the day that I became a Mother. For those of you who know me personally, or those who have been reading my blog faithfully, you already know how I feel about that day and the year that followed.

I imagined a sleeping angel in a pristine nursery. I got a screaming firecracker with severe acid reflux, and a room constantly covered in vomit.

I envisioned long walks pushing my shiny stroller and slumbering newborn. What I got was a baby that wailed when she got within 10 feet of a stroller. The screaming only stopped if she was on my chest and I was standing up and rapidly pacing like someone with a serious nervous disorder.

I knew there would be long nights and many feedings. I didn’t know that I would have a human attached to my breast for approximately 20 hours a day for months on end. I was a human pacifier. Literally.

The sleep deprivation wasn’t the same as I had remembered from finals week in College. This was different. I was alone, in the dark with a tiny human who’s life depended on me.
The hallucinations from the lack of sleep weren’t nearly as fun as the ones I remember from the acid I dropped at the OC fair 20 years prior.

I am elated and overjoyed to say that the vomiting, screaming and boob addiction subsided long ago. HB is an outgoing, healthy and absolutely hilarious girl.

If someone had told me what Motherhood was really going to look like, I wouldn’t have believed them. If someone had told me that HB would turn out to be a bright independent 7 year old, I would have laughed. If someone had told me that I would go on to have two more children, twins, nonetheless, I would have thought that person was nuts or highly intoxicated.

August 10, 2013 – I’ve been a Mother for 7 years. I have 3 children. It has been light years from what I expected.

What’s the take away from all this for me?

Stop expecting, stop preparing, stop predicting.
Sit back and enjoy the ride, because it’s not going to be anything like what I expected anyways. This ride is going to be incredibly scarier and insurmountably sweeter than I ever could have imagined.



I feel a little bit further from the proverbial edge – 24 hours at the SLS

16 Apr

I just spent 24 blissful hours away from my children. My best friend JA lives in Orange County and between the two of us we have six children covering every age from 2 to 6. You can imagine how often we get to see each other. Not often. And our phone calls usually involve a lot of screaming in the background and accidental hang-ups. We both needed some good old fashioned one on one time and refuge from the kids. So, on Saturday we spent the night at the SLS Hotel in Beverly Hills. For those of you who have never been to the SLS, it’s like a modern art museum meets Alice in Wonderland with a bunch of beautiful people hanging out in the middle of it all. One of my favorite restaurants in the universe also happens to be there, The Bazaar. The best part: there was not a child in sight. Just a fantasy world in my own town that I could partake in if I didn’t have applesauce on my cheeks and snot on my shirt.

We lounged around, watched TV, read magazines, dressed up in short skirts and high heels, drank cocktails and had time to TALK. Like, actually complete a sentence and communicate like best friends are supposed to. Truth be told we spent most of the time discussing the kids, the husbands and the challenges of Motherhood. To commiserate with my BFF of 17 years while not being interrupted was intoxicating, or was that the wine?? We had big plans of crawling the Sunset Strip like the good old days and dancing until dawn. That fantasy died sometime around midnight as we sat at the hotel bar with our eyes half closed yawning into our drinks. We may not have danced naked on any bars, but I feel like a new woman. All I needed was 24 hours, to take my time, sleep and talk with someone I love, in a place that made me feel like I was way too cool to be somebody’s Mommy.


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