Tag Archives: summer

Do Sharks Have Balls? 

30 Aug

It was a long Summer. Long. 

Although- I am happy to report that it was not as hard as last summer or the summer before or the one before that. I never thought I would say this, but, life is getting significantly easier. Trust me, I had my, “What the fu*k is wrong with you guys?” moments. But the frequency was so much less than it was before. 

I am proud to say that not only did the three children survive, but I did too! I can also report no broken bones, no stitches, no poison ivy and not one child was lost at an amusement park or museum, not even briefly. 

There was a solo trip for the kids and Daddy to Yosemite for 6 days – no sunburns, no emergency room trips and nobody attacked by wild animals. There was some vomiting, haunted hotels and bug bites, but what’s a proper road trip without those things?

There were the days that all three kids went to camp. Those were glorious days. Camp days are just the best. Handing your child over to an overly energetic college counselor who can’t wait to run around in the sun and entertain your kid, is the best feeling in the world.  Besides when the kids are all sleeping, that’s an awesome feeling too.

On days when my guilt kicked in and I figured I should remind the kiddos that the camp counselors aren’t actually their adoptive parents, we hit the beach. We had a beach groove and our own special spot on the sand near the Annenberg Beach House in Santa Monica. Our sunscreen routine was down to a science. Line up in the hallway in bathing suits youngest to oldest (one twin is 3 minutes older) and slowly rotate as I spray each of them. Then hand the sunscreen stick for their faces back and forth to each other in the car until everyone is covered. We conquered fears of seaweed, a phobia of peeing in the ocean, and even fear of sharks. My son (5) will proudly tell you that if a shark tries to eat his sisters he will kick him in the nuts. Solid plan little man. Of course this is coming from the kid who had to overcome his fear of seaweed first.

Summer of 2015. We owned you. No strollers. No diapers. No nap times. 

Fourth grade and Kindergarten (times 2) bring it on. We are ready for you. 

*Of course I would like to reserve the right to adjust my positive outlook once the kids all start acting like   little monsters again.


The Sick Joke – Visiting Week

26 Aug

I have been looking forward to today for 4 weeks. First day of Preschool!!

Summer camp ended a month ago for my 3 year old twins and I have been counting down ever since then. But, of course, I found out yesterday, it was too good to be true. As it turns out, this week is in fact not the first week back to school for the kids. For their age group it is “visiting week” at their Preschool. Which means that I go with them for an hour everyday all week. That’s it, one hour, and done.

I cried when I heard, literally cried.

Visiting Week. Awesome concept. Get the kids acclimatized, let them meet their new teachers, get used to the routine, ease into the transition.
For this mother of three, who has been to the Zoo, The Aquarium, The Beach and every Park within a 5 mile radius – not so awesome.

I totally grasp the concept and psychology behind it. I’m sure some of this, one hour a day visiting is done so the parents can adjust to leaving their children at school. I was once a first time parent with an only child, I get it. But those days are three screaming kids and 5 thousand sleepless nights behind me.
I have no qualms about teachers peeling a hysterical child off my leg as I walk out of the classroom door and wave bye-bye. I’ve been through this before. They cry for five minutes, demand Mommy comes back. Then, they discover a puzzle or a toy that they like and they might as well be orphans.

As “visiting time” wrapped up today, I seriously considered slipping the teachers some money to keep the kids there for a couple extra hours. It’s cruel to make a mother, feed and dress two 3 year olds, get them into car seats, into school and then send them right back home again after an hour, cruel.

It has been the longest Summer of my entire life. I have learned a lot about myself. I have learned that I am totally capable of taking care of three young children all by myself. I learned that I am much more resourceful than I look. I learned that going to bed exhausted after a long day of hard work feels fulfilling. I learned that no matter how hard I try, I will always hate the feeling of sand on dry feet. I learned that I have to eat every few hours or I develop an intense uncontrollable rage.

The biggest thing that I learned, is that despite all my complaining, fear and sarcasm, I actually enjoy my children. I love being their Mommy. I do prefer them in smaller less intense doses, but overall, I am enjoying this gig.

I am easing into the Mommy thing. All I need is these kids back in school so I can have some refueling time and all will be well again in the Mommyhood.

Visiting week. Really?



Sarcasm is Motherhood Set On Fire

6 Aug

My sarcasm level has reached an all time high.

I am still looking at 3 weeks until all the kids are back in school.

I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around how I’ve even made it this far. I am already 10 days deep into Mommy Camp and I am fried. Deep Fried.

6am-8pm, entertaining three children under the age of 7. I swear, just the thought of it gives me hives, literally. As I write this, I have hives on my chest. If there was such a thing as Summer Time Fear Hives, these would be them.

I can handle a week with all of them, no problem. Do a Griffith Park horsey/train day. Do a Long Beach Aquarium adventure. Do a Zimmer Museum outing. Chill at the park one day. But this? Over one month with no camp or school?

I am aware that there are wonderful Pinterest boards full of crafts and cooking projects that I could set up for the kids. Every time I check them out, I think to myself, if I was into this stuff I would have become a school teacher. As for backyard relays and scavenger hunts, again, if I was that energetic and fun, I probably wouldn’t be sitting here writing about my hate for Summer break.

At this point you might be wondering why I had kids at all… Trust me, I have thought the same thing over the past ten days more than once.

I love being a Mom. I love having three kids. I love spending time with them. I also know that I am a better Mom when exposed to my kids in moderation. In other words, I need my breaks! I crave my alone time. I have to have those few hours while they nap or go to school to recharge and regroup.

A family member once told me that I am not a “natural mother.” I guess that could be interpreted in many different and mostly offensive ways. If needing breaks and adult socialization while being a stay at home Mom makes me “unnatural” then so be it.

For now, I am relying heavily on M&M’s for bribery, the TV for distraction, and the calendar, to mark each day that we get closer to school starting.

Sarcasm and humor are guiding my way as it usually does.

I read an article yesterday that said, children don’t comprehend sarcasm. If that’s the case then I wonder if my kids have understood anything I’ve been saying to them all these years?



No, I will not be rushing a Sorority.

14 Sep

I am officially a UCLA student. It took a long hot Summer with the kids to realize my new direction. I was offered a grant to continue my education and I’m jumping on it as if it was a plane ticket to Paris. With all 3 kids in school part time and a sister who’s a Saint, I actually have a minute to follow this dream.

I have been working on writing a book, well actually several books since I was 5 years old. I think it’s time that I finished writing one of them. I will be taking classes for writers taught by published authors that will hopefully scoot me along in my process.

I started this blog as an outlet and I have loved sharing my stories with all of you. I still plan on writing here frequently just not everyday like I had originally planned.I’m a student now and homework comes first. Well that and being a mommy to 3 adorably mischievous children.

I promise to keep you all posted and if you need to find me, I’ll be the newest participant in the laptop staring contests taking place daily at Coffee Bean on SoBev.



Summer Ain’t For Sissies

19 Aug

Camp is officially over for my 6 year old daughter HB. School doesn’t start for another two weeks. What does this mean? It means the next two weeks are going to suck. Big time.

I tried to convince her to do another week of camp but she wants nothing to do with it. Little Miss wants Mommy time. That’s funny, because I want Mommy time too.

My friends who have a similar parenting style to mine totally sympathize with my anxiety over the next couple of weeks. The Mommy Mafia, on the other hand, they don’t understand why in the world I am batting an eyelash. The cherished time with their child conducting science experiments and crafting paper mache elephants sounds glorious to them. These are the same Women who frequently ask me why I don’t carry the twins in double Moby wraps anymore. Oh yes, did you know you can still wear two 25 pound children in slings and strap them to your body wherever you go? I am a person not a pack mule. I met a Woman at The Park today and she told me that she sets up obstacle courses for her kids in the backyard followed by a treasure hunt, concluding with cookie baking. I looked at her as if she had just told me that she was Jesus Christ himself. Where does this Woman get the energy, let alone the will to do that everyday? She did admit that she hadn’t seen the gym or a nail salon in years, so I guess that frees up some time, but still!

I know that being a Mother means being lots of things, a referee, a teacher, a cheerleader, a driver, a boo boo kisser….But I am not Martha Stewart and I am definitely not a Cruise Director. It looks like HB is going to be learning Espanol over the rest of the summer courtesy of Dora the Explorer and Spanish coloring books from the 99 cent store. See, I can be creative.


What are you doing for the rest of the summer? Interested in a dramatic yet delightful 6 year old?

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