Tag Archives: trader joe’s

The Things I Am Not Thankful For – Part 1

21 Nov

I promise that tomorrow I will write a heartfelt post about all the things and people that I am thankful for. I am lucky and blessed beyond belief, but I will save that for the other post. This is not that kind of day, so this is just not that kind of post.

Here are all the things I am not thankful for:

1. Mean Mommies – There is not one reason that I can think of to be mean to another Mother unless she did something to really piss you off. I don’t care what you look like or what kind of day you are having. If you are walking into the school or down the street schlepping your kids and I’m schlepping mine, just smile. You don’t have to strike up a conversation with me, because lord knows I have days when I do not want to discuss anything child related with a stranger. But to mad dog another Mom for no reason should be a punishable offense.

2. The Checkout People at Trader Joe’s – It usually goes a little something like this, “Yes, all these groceries are for my family. No, I am not having a party. Yes, I realize this is the fullest cart you’ve seen all day. No, I don’t need help out with my gigantic heaping filled to the brim cart.” I have a husband, three kids, many siblings and friends that all like to be fed when they are at my house, which is quite often. Just because someone buys three bags of veggie sticks it does not mean they are hosting a Super Bowl/Oscar/Birthday party. Stop asking questions and just scan my stuff, in fact feel free to throw in some chocolate covered edamame for putting up with all the people behind me rolling their eyes.

3. Sephora – That place is just not right. It’s like putting a person a strict diet in the middle of a candy factory before they’ve had their Slim Fast shake. It’s just too much fun in there. All the pretty packages, colors and the beautiful makeup. I don’t even usually wear that much makeup but that store makes me want to. When I walk in I want to put it all on, the creams, the primers, foundations, powders, glosses, potions, perfumes and put a shiny bow on top of my head. I actually avoid going in there because I start to feel panicked at the fact that there is a whole world of beauty that I barely own any stock in. Not to mention the cost. I have never walked out without spending at least 100 bucks on things I definitely can live without.

4. Tarantulas – I just can’t seem to get past my sheer terror at the thought of them. I know God must have had a reason for them, but what could it have been? Besides scaring the crap out of me…

5. My next door neighbor – She hates me. She hates my kids. She wouldn’t say hello to me even if I hand washed her ugly car for her. She asked our nanny why my kids cry and yell so much, and if their was something wrong with them. I said Shabbat Shalom once and I’m pretty sure she growled at me, like literally a dog growl. I realize that it can’t be easy living next to a house full of screaming kids, but we do our best to keep it contained. I don’t open the windows and hang the kids out of them and tell them to scream bloody murder. She’s a Mother and a Grandmother, give a frickin’ break, throw me a bone. How about a wink, maybe she could just wink at me, not even a hello, or a wave would work. Definitely not thankful for my next door neighbor.

Happy Thanksgiving! Be back tomorrow with all the things I AM thankful for!


Chef Boyardee Got Nothin’ On Me

17 May

I don’t cook. It’s not that I can’t cook, I just don’t. It doesn’t come naturally to me to just dash into the market pick up my ingredients come home and whip up a meal. It actually feels quite the opposite to me, foreign, yup cooking feels foreign. I see people in the supermarket with their shopping lists and little bags of vegetables and spices and uncooked meats, I know it can’t be that hard if everyone’s doing it. I guess it’s just not part of my routine and I’m a little frightened of new things. I am also a closet vegetarian and have some sensory issues with food. What does that mean? It means I hate touching chicken/meat/fish of any kind and I feel very guilty when I eat it. The sensory issues, let’s just say, if it’s too mushy, smells weird or just strikes me the wrong way, I ain’t eating it. Those of you who know my oldest daughter HB, are starting to understand where her food “pickyness” comes from right about now.
At this point you must be wondering what it is this family eats if the Mother doesn’t cook? Let’s see, we have Chipotle night, we have Whole Foods chicken night, Trader Joe’s night, Pasta night and Auntie Stacey cooks night. I’ve gotten away with it this long because my husband doesn’t make it home in time for Dinner and my kids are young enough that they don’t really sit down for a big formal meal. Every time I decide that today is the big day to cook dinner, I find myself overwhelmed by the rules and limitations I have. The meal has to be organic, healthy, pork free, easy to make and kid friendly. Next thing I know I’m ling in the fetal position in front of the oven.
All of this being said, I feel the time has come for me to step up to the plate, literally. Not because it’s my duty or listed in my marriage contract, but because I know that it’s healthier and I want my kids to feel at home in the kitchen.
So, I’ve decided that starting on Monday ( I need a few days to get ready) I am going to start operation HCM, Home Cooked Meal. I’m going to figure out what the family will be eating for the entire week and get everything I need to make it happen on Sunday. My starting goal is to cook at least three meals the first week. I plan on conducting interviews at Roxbury Park tomorrow asking other Mom’s what they cook that their kids actually eat. I’m hoping to slowly ease into my apron and before I know it I will be the Rachel Ray of the Westside, hopefully without having to touch any raw meat in the process…

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